|Team Harvey: Giant Gonzalez, Big Bully Busick, Sid Justice, Kim Chee, & Kamala|
The formidable Team Harvey, consisting of wrestlers managed by the legendary Harvey Wippleman in 1993 or earlier, naturally would face off against this team...
|Team Wippleman: Mr. Hughes, Adam Bomb, Well Dunn, & Kwang|
Next up is another five-man team:
|Earth, Wind & Fire: Earthquake, The Hurricane, Texas Tornado, Kane, & Bam Bam Bigelow|
Their opponents share their love of 70s soul groups:
|Cool & The Gang: Carlito Caribbean Cool, Big Daddy Cool Diesel, Too Cool, & One Man Gang|
The disciplined military men of Vince McMahon's promotion team up...
|ROTC: Corporal Kirchner, John Cena, Bobby Lashley, & Sgt. Slaughter|
...to take on a team that values discipline of a different sort.
|BDSM: Demolition & The Basham Brothers|
These Wrestlecrap inductees unite...
|Team Bull$#!+: El Matador, Mantaur, TL Hopper, & "Super Hero In Training" Rosey|
...to battle this unstable foursome.
|Team Bat$#!+: Mankind, Berzerker, Bob Backlund, & Perry Saturn (w/ Moppy)|
This next match provides something for the ladies:
|The Male Strippers: The Dicks & Well Dunn|
Their opponents take it one step further:
|The Male Prostitutes: "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray, Shawn Michaels,|
The "Doctor of Desire" Tom Prichard, & Meat
The main event of the evening is the grudge match that has been brewing since the mid-1980s.
|Team Rock 'n' Wrestling: Junkyard Dog, Hillbilly Jim, Lou Albano, & Hulk Hogan|
They take on their formidable AWA counterparts:
|Team Wrestlerock: Curt Hennig, Big Scott Hall, & The Midnight Rockers (Shawn & Marty)|
I'm Art0Donnell, and I watch old Raws.
You can, too, if you've got the b@//$.
So if you've got questions, quips, or queries,
I'll fill you in at the Survivor Series!