Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Raw #171 - August 5th, 1996

Raw opens with the announcement that Olympic powerlifter Mark Henry has signed a ten-year multi-million “dolla” deal with the World Wrestling Federation, guaranteeing a career in the WWF until the far-off year of 2006. Imagine how many titles he’ll win in that time! The intro starts off with a series of headlines about Henry, but the first when says, “Ow, Henry!” Apparently, the best way to present Mark to the world is with a joke about him getting injured.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Raw #170 - July 29th, 1996

Vince announces in the intro to tonight’s show that the “intruder” last week has “temporarily sidelined” Ahmed Johnson with a ruptured kidney. How temporary is “temporarily”? Two weeks in kayfabe time, but about four months in real time, as Ahmed had already wrestled a match scheduled for next week before finding out his kidney had been ruptured.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Raw #169 - July 22nd, 1996

Raw emanates from the hometown of Rad Radford, Seattle, Washington. Sunny opens Raw by bringing out a birthday cake. Whom could it be for? Bob Dole? Fabulous Moolah? Or one half of the challengers for her Smoking Gunns’ tag team titles, WWF champion Shawn Michaels? What a mystery!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Raw #168 - July 15th, 1996

Shawn and Ahmed nearly had a scuffle earlier tonight with Camp Cornette, but fortunately, Tony Garea and Rene Goulet were there to break up the proceedings before the fists and fanny packs could fly. Tonight, both babyfaces defend their respective titles against Billy and Bart Gunn.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Raw #167 - July 8th, 1996

Tonight’s top story: The Ultimate Warrior has been suspended! After no-showing multiple live events, Gorilla Monsoon has suspended Warrior indefinitely until he posts a bond. However, Warrior will be wrestling tonight as advertised because Monsoon is such a fan-friendly President. And also because his match was filmed two weeks ago.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Raw #166 - July 1st, 1996

Shawn Michaels, “the greatest sports-entertainer in the world today,” opens tonight’s Raw, walking down the aisle with his “Kliq Cam.” How is the view from the Kliq Cam being shown in real time if this is a live broadcast? Maybe I just answered my own question. Speaking of questions, tonight, HBK faces former Rockers partner Marty Jannetty to determine which one was the “Marty Jannetty” of their team.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Raw #165 - June 24th, 1996

It’s the night after King of the Ring, and the new king Hunter Hearst Helmsley is in action in the opening contest! Just kidding. Steve Austin won the crown, but Hunter is facing Ahmed Johnson, who last night overcame multiple acts of sexual molestation by Goldust to win the Intercontinental Title, becoming the first black singles champion in WWF history.