Figure Friday: A Tale of Four Hulksters

With Hulkamania in full gear at the beginning of the 90s (okay, not full gear, but still pretty huge), it was only natural that Hasbro do all it could to cash in on the merchandising phenomenon (and alleged wrestler) that was Hulk Hogan. For that reason, no fewer than four distinct Hulk Hogan figures were created and sold by the toy company between 1990 and 1993. Oh, and not one of them was bald.

Figure Friday: The Rockers were Rip-Offs (and not of the Rock & Roll Express)

As a child of the New WWF Generation, I owned not only the Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels figures as part of the Rockers' tag team set, but as singles wrestlers, as well. In all those years, I never noticed that both figures are exactly the same, minus the heads. It's as if Hasbro were trying to sabotage the Rockers' split by refusing to differentiate between the two party animals. 

Figure Friday: Barefoot and Pregnant with The Headshrinkers

The Headshrinkers' action figures were released simultaneously by Hasbro as part of their 1994 series but were sold separately. For this reason, I had a Fatu figure but no Samu figure. Actually, truth be told, I had two Fatu figures and just called one of them "Samu." It was just as well; both figures look practically identical, but closer inspection leads one to notice some subtle differences and revealing similarities between the two cousins' figures.

Figure Friday: The long-lost Steiner, Crush

Last week, I looked at the figures of Money, Inc. and showed how they were so cohesive a team that they even shared a lower body. This week, I profile another pair of WWF figures from Hasbro, the Steiner Brothers. The Rick and Scott figures really have nothing in common... except that they both borrow heavily from Brian "Crush" Adams. Allow me to explain.

Figure Friday: Below the Belt with Money, Inc.

Ted DiBiase and Irwin R. Schyster shared a lot of things: a team name, a tag team title, an affinity for money, and, unlike many other tag teams, a lower body. At least as far as Hasbro was concerned. No, we never saw a Siamese twin figure of DiBiase and Rotundo, but we did see a pair of action figures with many similar features, including a recycled lower body with stomping action.

Figure Friday: Three Men and a Body

Sometimes I don't know whether to consider Hasbro's WWF toy-makers supremely unoriginal or brilliantly creative. On the one hand, they regularly re-used existing pieces of wrestling figures, disguising their origins with a fresh coat of paint. On the other hand, the leaps of imagination required to transform a particular action figure, representing one Federation superstar, into another action figure representing an entirely dissimilar wrestler are commendable. Sure, there were some easy cases, like transforming Bushwhacker Luke into Bushwhacker Butch and vice versa, but some of the re-hashes bridge not only generations but basic body types, as well.

Figure Friday: ¢#®!$ ℬ∑№ℹ+

This week's figure was quite cutting-edge when it came out but is now more than a bit dated. It definitely had its good points, such as its true-to-life appearance, the result of digital scanning of the wrestler's face by Jakks Pacific. It also has many joints and other points of articulation. So yes, this figure is technically sound, but all of that suddenly becomes less important when you realize that it's a Chris Benoit doll.
 
Yes, this is one of many Chris Benoit action figures, manufactured, obviously, before his grisly death in June of 2007. It could even be one of the same ones Daniel Benoit owned, exonerating his father in a Nancy Grace-concocted leap in logic.

Figure Friday: Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed Johnson is famed for his unintelligible promos, massive weight gain, and frequent in-ring wedgies, but you can add one more accolade to that list. Ahmed was the subject of one of the most unrealistic action figures ever created.

This is Ahmed Johnson:


 

Figure Friday: Tatanka

The story of the Tatanka action figure begins with the Texas Tornado. Kerry von Erich wore tassels on his boots when he wrestled in the WWF as the Texas Tornado. His action figure looked like this:

Figure Friday: Giant Gonzalez and homemade wrestlers

As I explained in the Doink the Clown article, after Hasbro stopped producing WWF figures, toy stores were left with only the less popular figures that had yet to sell out. As a result, parents of the mid-90s had slim pickings when it came time to buy an action figure for their kids' birthdays or Christmas. That would explain how over the years my household acquired not one, but three Giant Gonzalez figures.

Figure Friday: Get Bent

The closest thing to standing these guys can do.

This week's Figure Friday focuses on the travesty that was the WWF Bend-Ems (Series I, specifically). These toys, manufactured by JusToys, were for people who tired of the old Hasbro line of wrestling figures and their pesky ability to be posed, to have their body parts moved without ripping apart, and to stand on their own. How bad were the Bend-Ems? For years, this would be Kevin Nash's only WWF figure, and it couldn't even do him justice in terms of replicating his move set.

Figure Friday - Doink the Clown

If Hasbro had kept their toy line
going through 1997, they would
have given the Sable figure the same
finishing move.

Anyone who knows anything about 90's wrestling knows that the heel version of Doink the Clown was awesome. In fact, I believe that is a requirement for writing about wrestling online. Not only did he have a great gimmick, cool music, and solid wrestling skills, but he also had a unique action figure which, as far as I know, is the only wrestling figure produced with realistic hair weaved in (although Larry Zbyszko would attempt the same thing but in real life).