Friday, August 31, 2012

Raw #15 - May 3rd, 1993


We open the fifteenth episode of Raw with the entrance of Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Michaels, the IC champion, is already in the ring. This is supposed to be Duggan's first shot at any WWF title. His most recent shot was to have been a shot at the tag titles in 2008, with Jerry Lawler as his partner, but he would be replaced with Michael Cole at the last minute. The fans chant "USA" during the match between the New Yorker and the Texan. Michaels keeps getting knocked out of the ring, eventually trying to flee the match altogether. Hacksaw brings him back to the ring with a fireman's carry.

When we return from commercial, Hacksaw is trying to bring Michaels back in, but he hits Duggan with a Clever Maneuver (#1), snapping his neck over the top rope. McMahon reiterates how much of a Clever Maneuver (#2) that was. Michaels knees Duggan in the "chest area" and uses his quickness to dodge Duggan's punches. When Hacksaw looks to regain the advantage, Shawn hits the running Duggan with a Maneuver (#3 - knee to the gut), which he follows up with a Maneuver (#4), pulling his opponent to the outside by his singlet. Michaels proceeds to perform a High-Risk Maneuver (#5 - axe-handle smash) on Duggan off the ring apron. Hacksaw keeps getting back on his feet, leading Vince to wonder what it takes to keep the man down. Bobby Heenan suggests a stun gun, but Steve Austin is still under contract to WCW at this time, so don't expect Hacksaw to stay down any time soon. 




The Big American 2x4 Hacksaw makes his comeback, breaking out of a rear chinlock with elbows to HBK's midsection. He follows this up with a scoop slam, spinning Michaels around at least three times before dropping him. Duggan takes the three-point stance and clotheslines the Sexy Boy out of the ring. Michaels takes the opportunity to walk backstage, drawing Hacksaw out of the ring to follow. A clothesline over the railing keeps the Intercontinental Champion outside the ring long enough for Duggan to return to the squared circle for a countout victory, but not a title win. Hacksaw grabs the mic and refuses to leave ringside until he gets another shot at Michaels, tough guy! He claims to have beaten HBK from pillar to post. I don't know, Hacksaw; the record books will show that HBK performed 5 maneuvers in this match, while you executed none. He then throws chairs into the ring, prompting Macho Man to wonder if in a previous life, he had wanted to be an interior decorator. Hacksaw stages a sit-down strike in the middle of the ring as we go to commercial break.

 

Duggan is still in the ring when we return from commercial. He will face Yokozuna some time in the future, but the 500+ pounder will take on Hulk Hogan for the WWF Title at the King of the Ring pay-per-view. We go to a King of the Ring Report with Mean Gene and a plug from Crush for ICO-PRO. In early 1995, Brian "Crush" Adams would be arrested for steroid possession. Bret Hart is given the #1 seed in the KOTR tournament, qualifying automatically in exchange for Yokozuna getting the first title shot at Hulk Hogan. Don't worry, Bret. Winning this tournament would pretty much guarantee another title shot, and Hulk Hogan can finally pass you the torch as the #1 face in the company. The Lexorcist Lars Luger qualified over the weekend on Superstars, defeating Bob Backlund in his second loss since his WWF comeback, while Mr. Perfect wrestled Doink to a time limit draw. Razor Ramon takes on El Matador this weekend in the battle of the Hispanic stereotypes, with the winner advancing to the KOTR tournament. Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who has just left the ring and is calling Jack Tunney, will take on Papa Shango in a battle of the Genesis-exclusive Superstars in another qualifier. All this leads to June 13th, the "first ever WWF King of the Ring tournament," except for the ones in 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, and 1991, which all took place at New England house shows. Hey, it was before the internet.


"Brudda, you've gotta want it."

Doink steps into the ring with The Kamikaze Kid, both of whom would appear in the 1994 WWF RAW video game. Vince McMahon speculates that if Doink can qualify, he just might be in the King of the Ring tournament. McMahon's insight is highly underrated. Doink absolutely dominates the Kamikaze Kid, hitting him with a Maneuver (#6 - belly-to-belly suplex) and tearing him apart with hold after hold. Kamikaze Kid's only offense is a few elbows to Doink's gut, which the clown shakes off. Doink wins via submission with a stump puller. 



 





Duane Gill.
Bob Backlund's theme music hits as he rushes to the ring to take on Duane Gill, whose name is misspelled three times in a single graphic. Bob Backlund trips up Gill repeatedly as McMahon gets word that Jack Tunney has granted Duggan a rematch with Michaels in a lumberjack match next week. Ironically, Vince is getting word from "the boss" in his headset. Gill traps Backlund in a head scissors for a surprisingly long time, then follows up with a short arm scissors. Hopefully, Backlund will counter this move by standing up and putting Gill on the former champion's shoulder. Success! Backlund follows up with a back body drop and pins Gill with a Patented Maneuver (#7), a bridging pin.




Vince is about to crack up.
Vince McMahon brings a very sweaty Hacksaw back to ringside for an interview. He says that  in regards to another shot at Shawn Michaels' belt, Tunney told him, and I quote, "Next week, baby, you got him in a lumberjack match for the Intercontinental title, tough guy!" And here I though that only Hacksaw called people "tough guy," but there you have conclusive proof that Jack Tunney does, too. Hacksaw is going to take the title away from Michaels, "one way or the other, tough guy!" He's got only one thing on his mind for next week, "and that's the Intercontinental title, tough guy!"

The alleged homosexuals from last week are Hacksaw fans.
We get our first look at the Smokin' Gunns in a vignette in the desert. Ever since they signed with the WWF, they claim that all they've heard about his trouble about such tag teams as the Headshrinkers, Money Inc., and the Beverly Brothers. Really, the Beverly Brothers? Not, say, the Steiner Brothers? Then again, this is 1993, when all the faces are friends. Bart shoots at some cans, while Billy shows off his mustache and shoots some bottles. At no point in this vignette do they identify themselves as the Smokin' Gunns, nor do they call each other brothers or mention their last name. 

"My cans! My precious antique cans!"


Captain Lou Albano makes his way to the ring for no reason before the Headshrinkers come to the ring for a squash match. Lou would manage the Headshrinkers the following year, but for now he's just here to watch and commentate one of the many legitimate, non-scripted athletic contests of the WWF. Afa points at his former manager while the Headshrinkers rush their opponents, who don't even get their names read aloud. The 'Shrinkers flapjack the black jobber about ten feet into the air, then throw him out of the ring, where Fatu slams him right on his neck and shoulder. When they're finished with the black jobber, they throw him into his own corner to tag the white jobber, who gets a "devastating" spike piledriver. Albano shares the wit and wisdom that would help The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pro Wrestling rocket to the top of the best-seller list, claiming at least twice that Bobby Heenan has a brain the size of a dehydrated BB. Samu steps right on the white guy's throat and walks right over him, then tags in Fatu for a Devastating Maneuver (#8 - double front Russian leg sweep). Fatu splashes the white guy from the top rope for the pinfall. They then start to tear off the jobber's singlet but thankfully stop short of being completely raw, uncut, uncensored, and uncooked. The announcers didn't actually say that, though. What a wasted opportunity.


We close the show with a clip from an upcoming Coliseum Video release starring the Bushwhackers called, "Smack 'Em, Whack 'Em" and a promotion for the charity Miracle House, tough guy!






Final Tally: 

0 Uncut, uncensored, uncooked (Cumulative total: 27)
8 Maneuvers (Cumulative total: 68)

2 comments:

  1. Your mention of this being Duggan's first title shot in WWF made me curious, so I checked. He challenged Honky Tonk Man for the IC title at WrestleFest 88, Rick Rude for the IC title on SNME in 1989, Sgt Slaughter for the WWF title at the Main Event in 1991. You could count his entrance in the 1992 Royal Rumble which was for the WWF title as a shot as well.

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  2. Made-up facts: a staple of wrestling ever since Buddy Rogers won the WWE title in Río De Janeiro.

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