Monday, October 15, 2012

Raw #42 - December 6th, 1993

Tonight's Raw is Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's last. Unlike Rob Bartlett's last episode, there will be no celebrating here at How Much Does This Guy Weigh? For the record, Bobby never was a weasel. 

We kick off tonight's show with Shawn Michaels coming to the ring wearing an Intercontinental belt, which Vince says he has no business wearing. I would like to congratulate Shawn for at least remembering to wear the correct-colored belt, as earlier this year the strap was blue, then white. He probably has a whole closet full of IC belts of all colors of the rainbow, like John Cena and his official T-shirts. Vince says that Razor earned that title the old-fashioned way. By this, he means that Razor co-won a battle royal then beat the other co-winner. I don't recall a title ever being awarded that way before. Isn't "the old-fashioned way" beating the reigning champion?

The 123 Kid enters next. The two open the match with an exchange of punches, followed by a fast-paced sequence of whips and counters that was a specialty of the New Generation. Michaels gets knocked out of the ring and the Kid tries to suplex him back in, but Michaels counters with a Nice Maneuver (#1), floating over and waistlocking him from behind. The Kid reverses that and hits a bridging German suplex that is too Benoit-like to be used in WWE today. Vince explains that the Kid's game plan consists of High-Risk Maneuvers (#2) while he keeps a headlock on HBK. The Kid tries to use the turnbuckles for leverage for another headlock takeover, but Michaels counters with a Clever Maneuver (#3), belly-to-back suplexing him. The Kid recovers and runs toward the turnbuckles, drawing Michaels in so the Kid can float over him. He then does the Same Maneuver (#4) in the opposite corner, which Michaels follows up with a head scissors, sending the Kid to the outside. When Shawn follows him outside, the Kid rams him into the post, but then eats a powerslam to the floor after his body press gets countered.

Michaels dominates as Raw returns from break. A superplex attempt backfires, however, when the Kid counters, knocking Shawn off with a Maneuver (#5 - punch). He launches of the top rope, but gets caught with an HBK dropkick. The Kid escapes a backbreaker hold with kicks to Michaels's head, then hits a spinning heel kick for a two-count. A flying cross-body scores another two-count. A flipping senton by the Kid misses as we go to break again.

Shawn signals for the Razor's Edge, hitting the Bad Guy's finisher on his opponent. He then lifts the Kid's shoulders off the mat before a three-count. He does another Razor's Edge before Razor himself comes to ringside and pulls the Kid out of the ring to save him from another crucifix bomb. Razor chases Michaels up the aisle, but the Sexy Boy trips and begs Ramon off. He then lures the Bad Guy to the curtain, where he gets punched by Diesel and hit with his own Razor's edge twice by Shawn, losing his gold chains in the process.

The Quebecers and Johnny Polo come to the ring to wrestle the sorry-looking team of Mike Walsh and Bert Centeno. Johnny Polo tells the camera that they're not the Mounties, which is strange, because if Jacques Rougeau were any kind of policeman, he'd be a mounted policeman (being a homosexual man, you see). Johnny then sets up a lawn chair, props his feet up on the apron, and reads a polo magazine to drive his gimmick home. In the ring, Jacques gets on his knees and begs Bert Centeno to give him some. The two exchange slaps, then Bert tags out, "saving his butt," says Heenan. Pierre tags in and stomps Mike Walsh, but then gets caught by Walsh's Nice Maneuver (#6), a reverse monkey flip. Pierre quickly clotheslines Walsh, who tags Bert back in. Jacques tags in to get some revenge on Centeno, who Heenan says should have "Welcome" written on his back so he can be used as a doormat. Jacques would prefer that Centeno had "Welcome" written on his lower back. The Quebecers double-team Centeno (with wrestling moves), whipping him into the ropes, where he falls. Jacques laughs that his opponent went down so easily, then piledrives him and tags in Pierre. Together, they execute a Very Devastating Maneuver (#7), the flipping cannonball off the top rope. Referee Bill Alfonso counts Pierre's three-count. The Quebecers then seat Centeno in Polo's lawn chair, allowing Pierre to clothesline him in an ECW-esque spot. Johnny Polo would shortly thereafter join ECW as Raven. Could ECW have stolen its ideas from the Quebecers?

Vince speaks with Owen Hart on a split screen about Bret winning Superstar of the Year. Owen sarcastically says that that's great, but he has his own surprise that will get everyone talking about him.

Even Doink's target audience
not impressed.
Doink the Neutered Clown makes his way to the ring with Dink in a stroller to the tune of "Entrance of the Gladiators," a piece of music with a highly misleading title. Tony Devito is the clown's opponent and gets worked over with holds that all the sudden make no sense since Doink is no longer supposed to be an evil clown. DeVito puts the clown in a full nelson (or should I say, "Fool Nelson"? No, I shouldn't). Doink then hits a very dangerous-looking overhead German suplex that lands DeVito on his neck. Dink climbs around the apron with a squeak toy, prompting the Brain to casually talk about running the mini-clown in a stroller downhill onto an interstate. Vince notes, "I don't know how many ways we can see a man taken down here, but we have seen a variety of ways and holds applied by Doink the Clown." I think this is code for, "God, Doink, just end the damn match already. The fans are turning against you." FInally, Doink hits the cannonball from the top rope to put DeVito away.

Crush and Mr. Fuji come to ringside as Heenan tells us that it's the holiday season for Fuji; the anniversary of Pearl Harbor is tomorrow. Crush takes on Tony Roy, with the Macho Man on the phone to tell us that the Madness is back. Next week he faces Fatu. Savage is barely audible, with his phone cutting in and out. Vince tells Heenan that Gorilla Monsoon called recently, and it was a local call, meaning that he is in the area and coming for the Brain.

Next week's Raw features Adam Bomb and the Smoking Gunns in action, as well as an interview with The Undertaker. Gorilla Monsoon comes to ringside and tells Heenan that he's being kicked out. Monsoon grabs him by his collar and drags him away to the outside of the arena as he pleads with him. Monsoon tosses Heenan's luggage outside, which for some reason includes plastic cutlery and toilet paper. Heenan gives a sad salute, marking his last WWF appearance for eight years.

Final tally:

7 Maneuvers (Cumulative total: 261)


  1. A great send off for the best colour commentator ever. Hmm does this mean that Jerry Lawler will take his place at the booth next week?? Uh oh :(

  2. Also, just after the Crush match at the end there is an 'advert' for the new King of the Ring video game voiced over by Gorilla Monsoon. The ad basically just shows the box art for the game and...that's all! No screens, no footage, nothing of the actual game itself. Great marketing!

    1. To be fair, that really would be the best was to market that game, insure no one actually sees the game before it comes out.