Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Raw #135 - November 13th, 1995

Excited for tonight's Intercontinental title match between Razor and Sid? Well, Gorilla Monsoon isn't having this morning declared it a non-title match (this, despite the fact that both this episode and the episode where the title match was announced were taped weeks prior) due to altercations at house shows between Ramon and special referee 123 Kid. On a brighter note, the intro to this episode has not been dubbed over with the same annoying metal music as the rest of the re-released 1995 episodes, with WWE leaving intact the theatrical music from the broadcast.

The show's first match is between hog farmer Henry Godwinn and rich snob Hunter Hearst Helmsley. It took six entire months for someone to come up with this feud. Helmsley persists in spraying perfume on the malodorous Godwinn, leading Henry to pick up his slop bucket and stand on the ring apron. Risking disqualification should he bring the bucket into the ring, Godwinn instead slops himself and enters the ring to wrestle Helmsley, who flees the ringside area (slipping on slop on the way) while the hog farmer chases him off. The match is over via a double countout.
Dok Hendrix brings us the Slam Jam, while Vince and Jerry speculate that Bill Clinton not mentioned by name) could get slopped at Survivor Series, especially if the federal government shuts down tomorrow. Hendrix updates us on the Wild Card match, showing a clip from Superstars where Ted DiBiase had words with Jim Cornette (who has clients on both teams) while Sid looked on in the same windbreaker Kevin Nash used to wear when he debuted as Shawn's bodyguard.

Ahmed Johnson makes his first entrance to take on local jobber Jake Steele, who rejects a handshake and even attacks the new superstar from behind. Ahmed keeps getting madder and madder, exploding on Steele with clotheslines, a spinebuster (a Devastating Maneuver), and his finisher, the tiger driver, which Vince calls a "tiger bomb," still a feat in itself for the announcer. Along the way, Johnson wags his tongue suggestively like fellow newcomer Goldust. Vince gets a word with Johnson about the upcoming Wild Card, who says something or other about Bulldog and Sid and breaking their throats proper. As Ahmed wrestles more matches on Raw, I will have to introduce another running tally in addition to the Maneuver counter: the Ahmed Johnson wedgie counter. Who designed his ring gear?
Diesel and Bret have an interview via satellite. Diesel, who sounds as if he has just woken up from a long nap, politely disputes Bret Hart's claim to being the best there is, was, and ever will be. Hart thinks he should have been champion even after last year's Survivor Series, where he was screwed out of the title, and complains about not getting a fair title shot. He also says that Diesel is weak against technical wrestlers like him and Shawn. Those happen to be his only passable matches as champion. Diesel says he'll try to put Bret Hart away early like Mike Knox (rather than be methodical, like Mike Knox).

A cavalcade of jobbers (including Terry "Rhino" Richards) carries King Mabel to the ring as the announcers speculate as to how The Undertaker will look when he makes his return at Survivor Series following his unfortunate face-crushing. Mabel has apparently forgone the hairspray for his mohawk tonight for his match against Roy Raymond. King Mabel takes Raymond down with an overhead belly-to-belly for a Maneuver (#2). He later flips over a seated Raymond and snaps his head forward for another Maneuver (#3). Finally, he gives Roy a corner splash and a belly-to-belly suplex for the victory before Jerry Lawler brings up an obligatory topical reference, this time to Harrod's department store charging customers $1.50 (in British pounds, I guess) to use the bathroom.
This weekend on Superstars (in a match taped the day after tonight's main event), Razor and the Kid teamed up again to challenge for the Smoking Gunns' titles. Razor drew a disqualification for repeatedly saving the Kid from pinfall. Sid's entrance is not shown, perhaps to edit out any mention of the title being on the line (which it isn't) (anymore). The Kid holds up the Intercontinental title before the match, despite the title "not" being on the line. Sid starts off as the aggressor until Razor's series of punches sends Sid over the top rope. The Bad Guy, however, eats a big boot (not like Charlie Chaplin; I mean metaphorically), then gets chokeslammed. With the Kid distracted, DiBiase takes a cheap shot at Ramon. Sid works over Ramon's back with punches. When Ramon finally makes a comeback, he attempts teh Razor's Edge right near the ropes, getting back body-dropped over the top rope, where he falls victim to more DiBiase cheap shots.

Dean Douglas attacks his Survivor Series partner Ramon on the outside as the Kid is distracted once again by Sid and DiBiase. Sid continues to work the "lower back area" until he hits a Devastating Maneuver (#4 - leg drop). If this were softball, that would be a home run, but Ramon kicks out. Sid puts the champion in a chinlock, then the camel clutch in an attempt to break Ramon's back and make him humble. Razor counters by getting to his feet, holding Sid straight up in an electric chair. Fans cheer the 10+ foot erection, especially when Razor goes down on Sid, dropping him to the mat. Razor tries to finish off Sid (with a Razor's Edge), but Sid pulls him off (the Bad Guy's back). Sid gives Ramon a weak kick to the gut before powerbombing him. Sid pins Razor after 123 Kid gives an unnecessarily fast count. DiBiase celebrates with Sid and his new charge, the Kid before stuffing a Canadian $5 bill in Ramon's mouth. The Kid picks up the bill with DiBiase's back turned and leaves with his new Corporate teammates. It's hard to say what exactly happened with this match. All of the Raws since In Your House have come from the same taping, but the stipulations were changed just "this morning" (with Monsoon not even appearing on-screen to say so) to make it a non-title contest. The Kid acts like the title is on the line at the beginning of the match, suggesting that the match was filmed as a title match with Sid winning the belt. However, Sid leaves without the belt, and Razor walks off with it, complicating the conspiracy theory about the Clique vetoing the title change after the fact.
Backstage, Jim Ross gets a word with Dean Douglas, who is celebrating his attack on Razor with his and Razor's Survivor Series teammates, Owen Hart and Yokozuna. Razor crashes the party looking for the Kid, then chases Douglas as Yokozuna looks on in a leaf-print skirt.

Final tally:

4 Maneuvers (Year total: 221)

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