Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Raw #137 - November 27th, 1995

Tonight's taped Raw is filmed right after the Shawn Michaels collapse. Tonight, The Undertaker faces Kama one last time with the urn on the line. In case you've forgotten, Undertaker's urn was stolen by IRS at the Royal Rumble, regained at Wrestlemania and immediately stolen back by Kama, and melted down into a gold chain. Taker has been so occupied with getting his urn back that he has been nowhere near the title picture. In other news, Brother Love will make his return tonight to interview Bret Hart.

Rad Radford donates his body tonight, as he faces newcomer Ahmed Johnson. Johnson no-sells Radford's offense, then punches him repeatedly in the gut and uppercuts him over the rope. When Ahmed leaves the ring to bring Radford back in, Rad swings the momentum back in his favor, only to be dominated once again by Ahmed, who levels him with a Maneuver (#1 - scissor kick) to the back of the head. He follows this up with a bicycle kick, and Extraordinary Maneuver (#2). He follows this up with the Pearl River Plunge, a Devastating Maneuver (#3) for the victory. Jerry Lawler tries to get a word with Johnson, telling some "stupid" jokes on behalf of Ahmed's In Your House opponent, Dean Douglas. Douglas rushes down to ringside, where Ahmed challenges him right then and there. Officials hold Douglas back before he can enter the ring, while Ahmed taunts him with his tongue (and right butt cheek) hanging out. This historic occasion marks the first Ahmed wedgie in Raw history.
Two Japanese women are in the ring with the generic "Oriental" music playing. This is the same theme used by the Orient Express, Bull Nakano, and, in a few months, Shinobi and Takao Omari. Aja Kong and Tomoko Watanabe face Alundra Blayze and Kyoko Inoue. Jerry Lawler makes a bulimia joke about Princess Di and Kong, then a Yoko Ono joke about Kyoko Inoue. Before the match gets under way, Barry Dadinsky hawks a Bret Hart t-shirt that is way too busy. The face team double-dropkicks Kong, whom Vince alleges has extra chromosomes, implying she has Down Syndrome. Kong gets the upper hand on Inoue, then tags in Watanabe, whose Maneuver (#4 - body press) off the second rope misses her target. Inoue locks Watanabe in a surfboard, but almost pins herself in the process. Alundra tags in and back out, leaving Kong to dissect Inoue as the match goes to commercial

Kyoko hits a flying back elbow to a prone Tomoko, then catches her with some High-Impact Maneuvering (#5 - arm drag) off the top rope. Aja Kong breaks up the pin, but Alundra Blayze runs in before making the tag to make herself the legal woman. Kong kicks her in the butt, but Blayze hits her with a Devastating Maneuver (#6 - enziguiri). Blayze hits a series of front dropkicks off the second rope, but misses the last one. Kong follows this up by missing a splash off the second rope, allowing Inoue to attempt a powerbomb. "By the way," says McMahon, "now is a good time to mention that Aja Kong a proponent, much like Lady Di, of safe sex." No, Vince, there is never a good time to mention that, especially when it's the finish of the match. Kong resists the powerbomb and and drops Inoue on her shoulders with a belly-to-back suplex for the victory.
Brother Love "interviews" Bret Hart, but hogs the microphone most of the time, constantly cutting off Bret before he can answer his questions. Love accuses Hart f being scared of The Undertaker and making his mother cry. Brother Love is sporting a Backlund for President button, which is a nice touch. "What kind of a man can sit here..." "He's standing, Brother Love," interrupts Vince. Hart finally grabs the mic and calls Diesel "cheap." I agree. Kevin Nash is kind of a slut. Bret also vows to gain redemption by beating the Bulldog at In Your House. "It's a dog-eat-dog world, and what goes around comes around," says Bret. Take two shots if you're playing a "cliches" drinking game while reading this. As Bret's music plays, Bob Backlund catches Bret from behind with the chickenwing, and Brother Love tells Hart that Mr. Backlund loooooves him.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley enters the ring as Henry Godwinn introduces him to the members of the Godwinn family via split-screen. These include "Priscilla" and "Potbelly," some of his many hogs. No mention of Phineas, though. given what he would say he liked to do with farm animals as Mideon, its probably best that he is kept away from the livestock. A female fan at ringside models her Hunter Hearst Helmsley t-shirt, emblazoned with rules on "How to Be a Snob." So there's your answer to the question, "Who on earth would by this?" Helmsley's opponent is John Chrystal, who gets Pedigreed in short order.
Owen Hart's manager Jim Cornette announces an open contract for His client at In your House. Owen brags about putting Shawn Michaels out of action. In other In Your House news, The 123 Kid and Sid face Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty.
Kama makes his entrance, but on crutches. Vince doesn't buy it. Ted Dibiase gets on the microphone and introduces his substitute, Sir Mo. Jeez, it's Kama's last TV match, and he doesn't even get to wrestle. Then again, Mo and Mabel's days in the Federation are numbered, too.
Undertaker arrives wearing his protective mask, or, as Vince calls it, a "facial appliance." I don't care what people say in retrospect; that was a scary-looking piece of equipment, not at all reminiscent of Brutus Beefcake's stupid Wrestlemania IX mask. DiBiase grabs Taker's ankle as he runs the ropes, allowing Taker to get clotheslined over the ropes. He lands on his feet, however, and chokes Ted until Kama ditches his crutches and puts the boots to the Dead Man. Vince thinks he has seen Mabel as Raw goes to break.

Mo is in control after the break but hurts his hand on Taker's mask. After clotheslining Mo, Taker slides out of the ring to take out Kama, then goes back to work on Kama as DIBiase and Kama flee the scene. Mo gets chokeslammed and pinned, but Mabel waddles to the ring in full regalia. He tries to grab the remnants of the urn from the ring post, but Taker gets there first, closing his feud with the Million Dollar Corporation. And all it took was a year and a half! Yokozuna, who along with Mabel helped put Taker out of action, comes to the ring. Taker entrusts his precious urn/chain to Bearer, who is quickly ambushed by Mabel, who mugs him for the gold. Well, looks like we'll have at least one more month of urn-based feuds for the Undertaker.

Final tally:

6 Maneuvers (Year total: 236)
1 Ahmed Johnson wedgie

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