Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Raw #126 - September 11th, 1995

It's Raw's "season premiere," complete with a new intro and theme song. I can't believe my ears, as I was expecting an entirely different theme, one that didn't suck nearly as much. Raw "premieres" with a theme called, "I Like it Raw," which would be quickly scrapped the following week, with its vocals replaced by faux-police radio messages, then sirens before the theme would be abandoned altogether for a generic but passable tune with no vocals. The highlight of the introductory video is Shawn Michaels running towards the edge of the roof with a vest and leather hat, which disappear in the next shot as he supposedly leaps from the roof onto Kama. The shaky start to the "new fall season" continues with both announcers appearing in front of a green screen, a practice I thought had ended months before. Tonight, the newly-turned heel British Bulldog will face Razor Ramon, whom Lawler claims will have to be picked up with a pooper-scooper after Davey Boy is through with him. "Pooper-scooper!?" says McMahon.
We see a replay from Summerslam of Razor Ramon not taking kindly to Dean Douglas's critique. Davey Boy comes to the ring with his new manager, Jim Cornette. Good thing, too, as Bulldog needs an extra set of eyes, since his former Allied Powers partner Lex Luger is no doubt targeting Smith. Well, maybe that's what the fans in attendance thought, since this episode was filmed the night after Summerslam, a week before Lex Luger jumped ship to WCW and showed up on the first Nitro. Maybe Vince and Jerry talked about Luger during their original intro to this episode, which is why they had to re-shoot it in front of a green-screen. Luger's unexpected departure may also explain why Bulldog is matched up against Bam Bam Bigelow for no reason at the next In Your House. Bulldog and Razor lock up, with Bulldog executing many somersaults to weave in and out of holds, only to get slapped then clotheslined by The Bad Guy for the first Maneuver (#1) of the new fall season. Back in the ring, Razor locks Bulldog in an ARMBAR and slaps his head around. Bulldog escapes and puts Razor in a delayed vertical suplex. Later, he hoists up Razor by his Bad Guys for a gorilla press slam.

After the commercial, Razor counters a powerslam attempt with a pin attempt, which Davey kicks out of. Bulldog mounts the top rope, but gets slammed off the top turnbuckle, then fallaway-slammed. Or is that fell-away-slammed? Razor accidentally whips Bulldog into the official, causing a rare monday Night Raw ref bump. Razor drops Bulldog with a Razor's Edge, but Dean Douglas launches off the top rope to break up the pin. The 123 Kid tries to help, but gets suplexed stomach-first onto the top rope. The referee comes to as Bulldog covers the Bad Guy, but the Kid still climbs the ropes, splashing Razor accidentally after Davey Boy moves out of the way. A pre-suicide(s) Tim White disqualifies Razor. Bulldog clotheslines the Kid, then press-slams him neck-first onto the ropes before moving on to Razor.
Vince McMahon is in the ring with Razor and The Kid, recapping the events that transpired moments ago and wondering whether Dean Douglas really does have a superior intellect. The Kid brings up the fact that Razor Ramon cost Kid a match on Superstars against Dean Douglas by interfering. "Forget about Dean Douglas," says Kid, no doubt speaking for the entire Clique. Kid then chastises Ramon for treating him like a Kid. He does this while wearing a singlet with the word, "Kid" plastered all over it. Ramon's little friend then challenges him to a match next week so that he can beat him like he did in their first match. After Kid leaves, Razor accepts the challenge, telling McMahon, "If he wants it, if they want it, if you want it, you got it." "Who cares what he wants," says Lawler, rightly implying that Vince is a mere television announcer, unlike Federation President Gorilla Monsoon. We then see a fan-made drawing of a very chubby Razor Ramon.

The Smoking Gunns face the Brooklyn Brawler and Rad Radford, who is making his Raw debut. Nothing says, "Superstar" like being teamed up with Steve Lombardi. It's a shame Radford couldn't team up with fellow musicians Man Mountain Rock, Jeff Jarrett, and The Roadie at Survivor Series. Billy kicks the match off with a diving clothesline over the ropes and into the ring, a Maneuver (#2) that takes down both opponents. The jobber team gets in a fair amount of offense before falling prey to the sidewinder. Billy pins Brawler for the victory and the rights to the moniker, "Mr. Ass," much to Pat Patterson's dismay.
Goldust appears in front of a night scene of Los Angeles, cutting a promo on The Undertaker and quoting, "Night of the Living Dead." "'To Wong Foo,' eat your heart out!" says McMahon, referencing the recent drag queen film.

Glen Jacobs makes his Raw debut against the future Scotty 2 Hotty. He even chokeslams Taylor before finishing him off with the DDS, which is a DDT, except done by a dentist.
Todd Pettengill addresses the audience as "dudes" and "dudettes" in his What's Happening at In Your House report. He jokes that he's glad that Raw hasn't moved to Sundays, unlike Mad About You, noting sarcastically that "NBC's got a lot of confidence in that show," which suggests that nobody watches TV on Sunday nights so networks put their crappiest programs on at that time. He then goes on to discuss the card at WWF's next pay-per-view, which airs on a Sunday Night. Mad About You ended up running until 1999, which is longer than the In Your House PPVs did. The Toddster reviews the rules for the Triple Header match, but notes that any of the participants may lose their titles between now and September 24th. If Shawn loses the IC belt to Sid tonight, will Sid team up with Diesel? Todd also explains a new stipulation imposed by Gorilla Monsoon that forbids intentional disqualifications or countouts, under penalty of losing one's title or titles. Razor wrestles Dean Douglas, represeted on screen by the best available picture of him, while Bam Bam wrestles Bulldog and Bret Hart wrestles the pirate after beating the dentist by DQ at Summerslam. Also, Savio Vega will face Waylon Mercy for no reason.

Shawn cuts a brief promo backstage at the strip club... I mean, arena, shuddering when he walks past a ladder. Sid, on the other hand, is focused on winning the IC title as compensation for losing his PPV pay-day to Razor Ramon. He looks to make his conquer tonight, as Shawn's dream will become to nightmares.Shawn topples Sid with a diving clothesline, forcing the Sultan of Swat to the outside to regroup. Shawn gets tossed over the ropes but skins the cat and dropkicks Sid to the outside. Sid comes back in and catches HBK with a spinebuster, shifting momentum to the big man, who boosts his slugging percentage with numerous punches to the champion in the corner. Ted takes advantage of a distraction by "getting in a few licks of his own" on Shawn. The Boy Toy usually charges people for that privilege.
Michaels gyrates and thrusts his way out of a bear hug as we return from break. He then takes Sid down with a headlock, but the big man escapes with a Maneuver (#3 - kip-up) usually reserved for Shawn Michaels. Sid then delivers the second chokeslam of the evening but hesitates to cover HBK. Instead, he sets up for the powerbomb but gets toppled with a back body drop. Michaels fires back with a flurry of punches, then scores a two-count with a flying body press. A series of kicks followed by a superkick put Sid down for the three-count. I don't know why Sid never won the IC title, but I guess things just didn't clique with him. Shawn then starts stripping again. "Look at the flamboyance of this man!" says Vince euphemistically. If Shawn drops his trunks any lower, we'll be looking at more than just his flamboyance.

Dok Hendrix gets a word with the as-of-yet unnamed Two Dudes with Attitudes about the Triple Header match. Diesel says that after In Your House, they won't just be "Two Dudes with Attitudes" (there ya go!), they'll be "Two Chaps with All the Straps." If this interview had taken place in 2013, Big Daddy Cool would be scripted to say, "Two Chaps with All the Championships." Next week, two teams of heels (tag team champions Yoko & Owen and Men on a Mission) face off, as do babyfaces Razor and the Kid. We see clips of the matches from next week's Raw, giving up the illusion that each Raw happens live. It also appears that with the "new fall season," Raw will feature not one but two matches pitting Superstars against Superstars each episode.

Final tally:

3 Maneuvers (Year total: 152)

1 comment:

  1. The final In Your House PPV took place in April 1999, just one month before Mad About You was cancelled :-)
    Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Your_House