Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Raw #117 - June 26th, 1995

The Raw after King of the Ring 1995 begins with a recap of the previous night's most important bout. The tag team main event between Diesel & Bam Bam and Sid & Tatanka? The tournament finals pitting Mabel against Savio Vega? Of course not. It's Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler. That match just happened to be a "Kiss My Foot" match, but regardless...
Since Jerry Lawler is out selling his foot-kissing injuries, Shawn Michaels takes over the color commentary. Both of these men would later moon Raw audiences.
The Smoking Gunns come to the ring to take on The Black Phantom (Gangrel) and Jason Ahrndt (Joey Abs). You've got to wonder how a thrown-together tag team like that functions when one man wears a mask. Does he wear the mask when they are discussing strategy? Does Jason Ahrndt know what the Phantom even looks like under the hood? I've got to think that always wearing the mask would cause some trust issues. The commentators praise the new King of the Ring, Mabel, before the Gunns hit the sidewinder for a Maneuver and a victory over Ahrndt.

Jerry Lawler waits in Dr. Isaac Yankem's office in pre-recorded footage. He reluctantly praises Bret's feet for being "the smelliest there was, the smelliest there is, and the smelliest there'll be." He also calls Isaac Yankem his best friend while laughing at the patient in the dentist's chair for screaming so much. Doesn't that mean that Isaac is really painfully rough with Lawler, too? Or is his incompetence selective? Lawler says Isaac Yankem was the world's greatest wrestler ("under an assumed name") before he was the world's greatest dentist. He must have forgotten a lot in the intervening years, because he certainly didn't have any five-star classics when he came to the WWF. Curiously, King refers to Yankem coming "back" to the WWF, even though Glen Jacobs has never wrestled there. Could there have been a different wrestler in mind to play Yankem? Probably not, but feel free to cite this article as a source for just that on Glen Jacobs's Wikipedia page.
Skip and Sunny make their second appearance on Raw. Shawn is no doubt scouting this hot new newcomer and wondering how to pin them down flat on their back. He's probably taking notes on how to out-wrestle Skip, too. He takes on Scott Taylor. Shawn notes that he knows "fitness chicks," possibly referring to personal trainer, attorney, Connecticut state legislator, and former Raw girl Themis Klarides. Skip warms up with jumping jacks before confounding Taylor with leapfrogs and a Nice Maneuver (#2) between the legs (not to be confused with what Shawn would be doing to Sunny by year's end). Skip takes the future Scotty 2 Hotty with an enziguiri, but soon gets dropkicked out of the ring while doing more jumping jacks for another Nice Maneuver (#3), this time by Taylor. Skip recovers enough to splash and/or headbutt on Taylor off the top rope to the arena floor. Back in the ring, Skip hits an Arrogant Maneuver (#4) in the form of a slap to the face before taking him down with a huracanrana from the top rope. Skip does a push-up pin on Scott for the victory.


Todd Pettengill delivers a post-KOTR report, spouting off some foot puns about Jerry Lawler before describing the tag team main event as "unbelievable." See, the heel team beat up on the face for most of the match, before the face got a hot tag. I guess the only "unbelievable" thing about this match was that a seven-footer was playing Ricky Morton. Well, that and Diesel's "elbow injury" which seemed to pop up out of nowhere a few weeks ago. Sid walked out on the match, which was shocking because it was nearly 10 o'clock at night and all the local softball games were long over. Sid's punishment for walking out on the match, as well as getting disqualified at the previous PPV? Another title match with Diesel, this time in a lumberjack match.
Everyone's favorite overachiever Savio Vega hopes to win the Intercontinental title tonight in his fifth match in 27 hours.
Man Mountain Rock is back with his WWF logo guitar (his other guitar having been destroyed by Mr. Backlund). Will his match tonight finally last longer than his musical performance? Not if professional dive-taker Phil Apollo has any say in the matter! Rock locks in the Whammy Bar approximately 75 seconds into the match for the victory.
Mabel's tournament victory and coronation are recapped, including the destruction of the injured Razor Ramon and 123 Kid, proving that maybe WWF could have put on a decent tournament this year if a few more of their talents had been in better health.


Mabel is brought to the ring on a throne held up by enhancement talent, whom Vince assures us are not members of the OJ jury. Thanks for clearing that up. Mabel brings a sword with him to the ring. It's too bad he never put the weapon to use, as it could have made his feud with Diesel slightly entertaining. Anyone remember The Berzerker-Undertaker feud? King Mabel's opponent is K.K., Kenny Kendall. Good thing he wasn't crowned the king. Mabel squashes Kendall with a belly-to-belly suplex.
Waylon Mercy, who debuts next week on Raw, delivers a promo from a beach's lifeguard stand. This is where his famous "Lives are gonna be in Waylon Mercy's hands" sound bit comes from. At least, it ought to be famous. Fans today don't appreciate Waylon's first run in the WWF (before he came back in 2013 with the lantern and the two tall guys with beards).

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring with his lackey and King of the Ring semi-finalist The Roadie to take on King of the RIng finalist Savio Vega. Jarrett's music video will debut on this weekend's Superstars. Savio, whose entrance music sound much more Cuban than Puerto Rican, set a WWF record, according to the announcers, by wrestling four matches in one night. I guess they were erasing the Macho Man from history even then, as Randy Savage not only wrestled four matches at Wrestlemania IV, but won them all to win the title.
The Roadie tries to sneak up on Vega before the match, but Vega turns around just in time, then unleashes offense on Jarrett. Jeff rips off Ric Flair, this time not by strutting (okay, Jackie Fargo invented that) or doing the Figure Four leglock (okay, Buddy Rogers invented that), but by dropping to his knees and begging his opponent off (I'm not sure who invented that. Possibly Austin Steel). He then pulls Vega by the waistband and into the turnbuckle for a Clever Maneuver (#5). Vega bounces back even tricking Jarrett into running into the Roadie and knocking him off the apron. Shawn then pulls on Roadie's hair extensions from his desk. The heels regroup at ringside.


Jarrett is back in control when the show returns. Vince notes that Savio's ribs must hurt after taking a splash from Mabel. Hopefully they're not as real bad as Razor's are. Savio turns things around after dodging a guillotine splash on the second rope. Vega hits a uranage on Jarrett, but gets his foot caught by the Roadie while running the ropes. Savio then boots the Roadie into the announcers' table, where Michaels shoves him away. This leads to a confrontation between the two future DX members. Amidst the distraction, Vega rolls up Jarrett for an apparent victory until the Roadie clotheslines him, drawing a DQ. Shawn comes to Vega's rescue, so his music plays instead of that of the guy who actually won the match.
HBK entertains fans with his stripper routine on the announcers' table a good 5 years before Stacy Keibler. Jarrett and company come out to spoil the (bachelorette) party, but Raw goes off the air before we hear what he has to say.


Final tally:

5 Maneuvers (Year total: 111)

4 comments:

  1. Wait...Waylon Mercy came back???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ge5ncw4O0BM/UOkCbwhPX2I/AAAAAAAAH9M/lXLZUxaOFdg/s1600/Bray+Wyatt+Returns.png

      Delete
    2. Aha, thanks for the clip. I'm about 15 years behind on WWE at this point.

      Delete
  2. "Does Jason Ahrndt know what the Phantom even looks like under the hood? I've got to think that always wearing the mask would cause some trust issues."

    Back in 1994 or 1995, one of the Apter magazines ran a story about the tag team Stars and Stripes that used this exact premise: that the Patriot's refusal to remove his mask was a source of friction between him and Marcus Bagwell. The writer "interviewed" both men, with "Bagwell" claiming that he'd never seen the Patriot maskless, and that he'd get grossed out watching the Patriot try and eat with the mask on.

    ReplyDelete