Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Raw #133 - October 30th, 1995

It's a Halloween Raw, introduced with a WWF Jack O'Lantern and a Dracula-like voiceover by Todd Pettengill. Finally, someone in the WWF acknowledges that Todd sucks. Vince McMahon is dressed as a jailbird, which Jerry Lawler jokes about ("I heard you got that outfit about a year ago, and this is the first time you got to wear it!"). Vince resists making the same crack about Jerry Lawler, given his legal woes in late '93. Lawler, by the way, is dressed as a doctor, later revealing his costume to be a proctologist. At least it's not a pediatrician or gynecologist.

Savio Vega greets Hugo Savinovich and Carlos Cabrera (dressed as the devil and Dracula, respectively) before his match with Goldust, who "premieres" tonight. Jerry Lawler notes the similarities between Goldust's theme and that of the Halloween movie series. Shhh! He also speculates that he's a relative of Goldfinger. Vince mentions "Ms. Galore" from that James Bond film, but won't divulge her first name, despite Jerry's insistence. McMahon also speaks of the special lighting for Goldust's entrance as mandated by his contract. At least the lights go back to normal during the match, unlike Sin Cara's entrance. The ring is still filled with smoke, though. Vince calls Savio a "young man," only to refer to him as a "veteran" just a few sentences later. I suppose Goldust is going to be methodical and try to put him away early.

Goldy has Savio on the mat with a wristlock as Raw returns from break. Lawler reveals that he's not just any doctor tonight, but a proctologist. Vince would borrow that costume ten years later for the infamous Jim Ross colon surgery skit, playing Dr. Hiney. Vince jokes about Lawler and Isaac Yankem, DDS making a great tag team, with each men starting on opposite ends. The proctologist/dentist combo could have been called "Butt-Munch." Vince compares Goldust to Grace Slick or RuPaul ("a masculine sort of RuPaul"), though at this point Dust's persona was more "bizarre" than "gay." Goldust beats Savio with a hammerlock pinning combo, despite Vega's right shoulder clearly being off the mat.

Dok Hendrix appears on the Slam Jam with pumpkin makeup, looking like a Halloween version of "The Stalker" Barry Windham. He relays Gorilla Monsoon's decision to make the Bret Hart-Diesel match at Survivor Series a No-DQ, No-countout affair.
Marty Jannetty faces Joe Dorgan, whose tights read, "Hot Bod." That's what "Hot Rod" Roddy Piper would have called himself, if he were gay. Dorgan gets fisted by Jannetty for the loss. Meanwhile, the announcers make note of the theatrical smoke still left over from Goldust's entrance.

Vince is in the ring for an interview with Jim Cornette, his client Davey Boy Smith, and his lawyer Clarence Mason. Since the winner of the Bulldog-Diesel match was to face Bret Hart at Survivor Series, Cornette argues that it should be Davey Boy in the main event, seeing as he won the match by DQ. Why Bulldog would be so eager for a match with someone who's not the champion is not explained, but Cornette complains that Smith's constitutional rights are being violated (the right to title shots, from an obscure clause in the Bill of Rights, later exploited by Dave Batista from 2006-2010). Bulldog then starts verbally running down his opponent for next week, Marty Jannetty, drawing the former/future/current Rocker to the ring to dropkick Smith. He then threatens to punch Clarence Mason, sort of like the end of Rocky V, except he doesn't follow through under threat of litigation, so it's significantly less stupid.
The Smoking Gunns face a jobber tag team. No, not PG-13; it's Otis Apollo and doughy future TNA agent Scott D'Amore. The 123 Kid gets on a split-screen to apologize to the Gunns for his poor sportsmanship at In your House, attacking the tag team champions after the bell. Otis Apollo (not to be confused with fellow jobber Phil Apollo or 1994 Doink Ray Apollo) gets the sidewinder and is pinned by Billy. Bret Hart then cuts a studio promo vowing to win the title "in The Survivor Series" and calls himself "the truck stop" to Diesel's diesel truck. Does that mean that Nash is going to go to the bathroom on Hart? Because a truck stop isn't the same thing as a road block (for one thing, a truck stop never jobbed on WCW Saturday Night).

Razor Ramon defends his newly-won IC title against Owen Hart, who won a battle royal last week. Ramon dominates the early going with a wristlock that he holds on to despite Owen's many attempts to escape. No, it's not as boring as it sounds. Vince notes that both men in the ring will be on the same team at Survivor Series. Owen tries some offense, but gets caught attempting a cross-body block, instead taking a fallaway slam from The Bad Guy, who punches Cornette of the apron for good measure. Yokozuna waddles down with Mr. Fuji to get a closer look at the action.
After the break, Owen tries to flip backwards and escape a standing hammerlock for a Nice Maneuver (#1), but Razor counters by tossing him onto his back and arm. This, in contrast to the same Maneuver (#2) that Owen successfully executed earlier in the match. Razor continues to work on the left arm (although, as usual, the announcers don't mention which arm it is, due to the standard practice of always working on the left side of the body so as to allow the typically-righthanded opponent to make a convincing comeback). Ramon charges at Owen, but gets tossed over the ropes while Going for the Maneuver (#3). Owen follows this up with a baseball slide, a Devastating Maneuver (#4) that sends Ramon into the railing and may or may not have knocked out a tooth. Back in the ring, a flying dropkick nets Owen a near-fall; Owen starts working over Ramon with some assistance from his tag team partner. The Rocket King hits another Devastating Maneuver (#5 - spinning heel kick) to score another two-count. He follows this up with a neckbreaker and a flying elbow drop for yet another near-fall.

Razor kicks out of another pin attempt after the break when Owen drapes an arm over him. Razor tries a belly-to-back superplex, which Owen reverses with a flying body press, which Razor himself counters by rolling through it for a two-count. After a highly inopportune thirty-second commercial break, Razor has Owen up for the Razor's Edge. Yokozuna pulls Owen down, drawing a disqualification. He and Hart beat down Razor, as well as the 123 Kid, whose assistance is easily thwarted by the former tag team champions. Newcomer Ahmed Johnson then rushes to the ring, stands behind Yokozuna, and bodyslams the 600-pounder when he turns around. And no, it's not a hip lock. The British Bulldog runs in, then backs off as Raw goes off the air.

Final tally:

5 Maneuvers (Year total: 208)

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