Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Raw #107 - April 17th, 1995

Raw starts off with a clip from yesterday's Action Zone, where Ted DiBiase announced his new, re-structured and re-organized Million Dollar Corporation, which looks exacly the same as his old Corporation, except without Nikolai Volkoff. Still, they at least have Sid as their newest member, and he will make a big difference in the form of the Corporation's first pay-per-view victory of 1995... but not till September.

Vince is joined in front of the green screen at Titan Towers by Jerry Lawler, who is wearing his royal jacket over top of a T-shirt. He also has an even pervier than usual facial expression. The King explains that Sid gets a title shot at In Your House, but Bam Bam Bigelow gets a shot at Diesel even before then, next week on Raw. Duke "The Dumpster" Droese faces Jean Pierre LaFitte in a trash man vs. pirate match.
Despite being a "Quebecer," Carl Oullette is billed as being from Lousiana. The announcers aren't letting on that he wrestled in the WWF just last year and dressed up like a mountie as "Pierre." I have to admit, though, they didn't do a great job of disguising his identity by putting "Pierre" right there in his new name. Duke The Dumpster offers a handshake to open this quintessential 1995 WWF match, but LaFitte takes advantage with a boot to the gut. He tehn follows up with a flying fist, a Nice Maneuver. Vince wonders about that patch over LaFitte's eye, wanting to know if he can see through it and if it's for "cosmetic purposes." Jeez, Vince. Carl Oullette is actually blind in that eye, you insensitive jerk!. The Dumpster fights back with scoop slams and a dropkick, which sends the pirate to the outside. He then brings back Pierre to deliver a much more convincing kneedrop than Triple H ever did. LaFitte gets back in control with a neckbreaker (or "necktwister," says McMahon), followed up by a High-Risk Maneuver (#2 - leg drop) off the second rope. Droese kicks out of the Very Impressive Maneuver (#3), but gets hit with a guillotine splash, then gets tied up in the ropes and splashed twice head-on by the pirate. Lawler claims not to pay taxes as a king, despite the IRS's deadline for tax returns the previous Saturday. Duke hits a Nice Maneuver (#4 - shoulderblock), then tries a sunset flip only to get punched in the face. Amazingly, this pirate vs. garbage man match goes to another segment.

After the commercial, LaFitte is in control until meeting a big boot by Droese, which Vince calls a Beautiful Maneuver (#5). This may be the only time in recorded history that a garbage man's boot has ever been called beautiful. Both men then clothesline each other to the mat. Pierre than jumps off the top rope and gets a boot to the face from the prone Droese. Well, he would have gotten a boot had he not gotten his hands in the way. Also, he avoids the full impact by landing on his feet, which makes you wonder exactly what kind of aerial attack he had planned to do to the trash man lying on the mat. Droese then hits a baaaaaack body drop, and after even more slams, Duke mounts the ropes for a High-Risk Maneuver (#6) of his own. The splash/headbutt he attempts is no good, as LaFitte moves out of harm's way. LaFitte hits a side slam that Vince erroneously calls a "sidewalk slam" before attempting yet another a High-Risk Maneuver (#7). This time, he lands the move, a flipping senton suspiciously similar to a move that Quebecer Pierre used to do.
We see a replay of Sid's induction into the Corporation. Vince thinks that Ted DiBiase was behind Sid's attack on Michaels the whole time, since Diesel (who suffers from idiot babyface sydrome) would clearly give a world title shot to someone for hurting his former friend. We see our first glimpse of the special "eyeball" arena lighting for Sid.

After the pirate-garbage man match, it's time for some comic relief in the form of Doink the Clown (played by Ray Apollo, not the now-deceased Matt Osborne). Roy Raymond is his zebra-striped opponent for tonight, which goes great with the zebra-striped shirts that the referees now wear. I swear they would have made the refs wear those long ago, but after Wrestlemania X when Mr. Perfect showed up dressed head-to-toe in stripes, the WWF had to postpone their fashion change until that sight had faded from the fans' memories. Speaking of hideous mental images, Vince cites a recent survey saying that 24% of men sleep in the nude. Doink hits Roy with a "neck twister," the name that Vince has started calling neckbreakers on this episode. The clown finishes off Raymond with a Whoopee Cushion, then distracts the referee as Dink hits his own butt-splash off the second rope. The Doinkster picks up the pin.
Todd Pettengill delivers the first In Your House report. The WWF is giving away an entire house, yet they can't afford to give the Toddster a decent haircut. Pettengill promotes the new pay-per-view's $14.95 price tag, but does not mention that there will be one during every "off" month or, perhaps more importantly, that it will only last two hours instead of three.

Bob Holly and the Kid challenge Owen Hart and Yokozuna for their tag team titles. The King takes the opportunity to compare the Kid's hair to Marcia Clark's. Vince praises Owen and the Kid's Tremendous Maneuvering (#8). Vince is further impressed by Owen's Maneuvering (#9) when he takes down The Kid with a snapmare. The Kid later lands on his feet after getting monkey-flipped by the King of Harts. Vince thinks The Kid is Outmaneuvering (#10) Owen by hiptossing him. Holly tags in, allowing him and the Kid to double-back-body-drop Owen. Holly has Owen in an arm wrench, but Owen escapes by flipping about using even more Maneuvering (#11). Even further Owen Hart Maneuvering (#12) sees the Rocket King slide through Holly's legs. Holly responds in kind and is praised for his Clever Maneuvering (#13). Owen finally tags out, allowing Yokozuna to enter and strike down Spark Plugg. Holly then runs the ropes and manages to take down the 600-pounder after he telegraphs a back body drop. Owen, however, is quick to pull the ropes down and make Holly fall to the arena floor. With the referee distracted by the 123 Kid, Owen rams Holly into the ring posts, then tags back in.  Holly eventually hits a backslide for a two-count, but Owen gets right back up to pound at the race car driver. Yoko tags in right before break.
Yokozuna is in control when Raw returns and soon after applies a nerve hold. Holly slowly powers out with elbows, then gets tossed over the ropes by Yoko. The Kid tries to get involved, allowing Owen once again to work over Holly outside the ring. That's a lot of effort being put into cheating for a match that the heels could easily win just by sitting on Holly. Owen tags back in, resulting in near-falls by both men that Vince calls as three-counts too early. Holly counters a superplex by floating over and getting a two-count on Owen, but then falls victim to an enziguiri by Hart. He then tags out to Yokozuna, allowing them to double-clothesline Sparky. The big Samoan applies another nerve hold before tagging out to Owen for an axe handle smash. Holly finally manages a hot tag to the Kid, who fires off a series of kicks against Yokozuna and a Maneuver (#14 - spinning heel kick) to Owen. More kicks to the big man's head fell Yokozuna, while a 123 Kid Maneuver (#15 - somersault plancha) takes out Owen. The Kid then leaps off the top rope at Yokozuna, who catches him and drops him with a belly-to-belly suplex to win the match. He could have saved him and Owen about 20 minutes of work by just doing that move to begin with. Owen runs into the ring to celebrate with both belts.

The Undertaker delivers a message against drunk driving, warning that "if you drink and drive, sooner or later, you're going to meet The Undertaker." It's a tragedy that this PSA no doubt inspired countless Undertaker fans to drive while under the influence in an effort to meet their favorite superstar.
Rounding out this episode of pirates, trash men, clowns, and race car drivers, hog farmer Henry Godwinn steps into the ring to face Rich Myers. Vince gets on the phone with Duckman character Cornfed, a talking pig. The porcine detective suggests that Duckman come onto Raw to promote the series. We see a shot of Godwinn's slop bucket, which contains what looks to be noodles, potatoes, and a soda can tab. That's not good for any living creature, pig or man.

Lawler shows off his Duckman t-shirt while Vince announces the debut of Bertha Faye, who attacked Alundra Blayze a few weeks ago. We even see a few stills of Alundra Blayze recuperating from her nose job, er, surgery. Lawler claims that Bam Bam had the flu against LT at Wrestlemania, but he's better now and will win Diesel's title next week.

Final tally:

15 Maneuvers (Year total: 69)

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