Raw #51 - February 7th, 1994

We start off the fifty-first episode of Raw with a recap of last week's events, which set up tonight's main event of Marty Jannetty vs. IRS. Joining Vince McMahon tonight is... Bastion Booger? I did not see this coming. Booger says he has some gas for Sparky Plugg, who makes his Raw debut tonight, and that, like "The Rocket" Owen Hart, he feels like he's ready to blast off. It looks like this week's theme is "fart jokes."

Raw #46 - January 3rd, 1994

It's a new year for Raw, and there's a new announcer in the form of Johnny Polo, who last week defeated Marty Jannetty with the help of Pierre. WWF Champion Yokozuna is in tonight's opening match, taking on Dan Dubiel. If you've been reading my reviews of Raw throughout the year 1993, you'll know that something very, very bad is coming for our jobber friend.

Raw #38 - November 1st, 1993

Bastion Booger is stuffing himself before the thirty-eighth Raw even gets underway. Not only is this food unhealthy, it's all raw! And that's the name of the show you're watching! Vince speculates that we're going to have a Maalox moment tonight when Booger takes on Razor Ramon in a non-title match. Vince runs down tonight's card, and apparently, Adam Bomb isn't facing some jobber after all, like I had thought at the end of last week's show. He's actually wrestling Virgil. There's a world of difference. Tonight is the night after Halloween, but there will be no Halloween theme for tonight's Raw, since it's 1993 and everyone is already in goofy costumes. Case in point: The Smoking Gunns battle Well Dunn on tonight's show.

Raw #30 - August 16th, 1993

IRS is a butt-patter. He loves patting boys' butts.

Raw's big 3-0 comes to you from Poughkeepsie, NY, home of the second-rate Raw graphics and a population well over a thousand people, unlike Alexandria Bay, where Raw has been held the past two weeks. Ted Dibiase comes down the aisle of the Mid-Hudson Civic Center to avenge his upset loss to the 123 Kid. Neither Razor Ramon nor IRS are allowed at ringside tonight. DiBiase pounds the Kid from the start. Razor, who is on the phone, says that the 123 Kid has a few surprises for the rich mang. The Kid is silent on the offensive front until launching a series of body presses and quick moves on DiBiase a few minutes into the match. DiBiase quickly regains control, but gets caught with a top rope body press. The Kid then attempts the Very High Risk Maneuver (#1) again, but it pushed off the top rope by IRS. The Steiners, who face Money Inc. in a cage match next week at the Summerslam Spectacular special on USA, make the save and clear the ring of the rich mang and the tax mang. The 123 Kid wins by disqualification. Vince McMahon argues with Bobby Heenan, insisting that there are only two columns, a win column and a loss column, and that this match would be entered into the "loss" column for Ted DiBiase. Curiously, the WWF has never published any win-loss columns, anywhere, ever.

Raw #26 - July 19th, 1993

Raw's twenty-sixth episode starts off with Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty in a rematch for HBK's Intercontinental title, a match I didn't know existed until yesterday. Raw girl Themis Klarides holds up yet another suggestive sign in the ring. Meanwhile, Michaels is accompanied by his fashion-challenged insurance policy, Diesel. Shawn's belt (excuse me, championship) now has a black strap, replacing the white strap, which replaced the blue strap. Diesel stands silently by in his rhinestone jacket and cowboy boots, perhaps mentally thanking Vince for at least not dubbing him "The Rhinestone Cowboy." Vince does, however, call him a "cool dude in a loose mood." WWF lost out on a great merchandising opportunity right there. Marty shows up Michaels' bodyguard by wearing an even more hideous outfit straight out of the early 90s (which, incidentally, is when this match took place).

What could have been.

Raw #23 - June 28th, 1993

The twenty-third edition of Monday Night Raw features Kamala challenging for the Intercontinental Title of Shawn Michaels, who has Diesel (formerly known as his "insurance policy") in his corner. There is just something strange about the Two Dudes with Attitudes sharing a ring with Kamala. Then again, Raw has been filled with weird generational overlaps since its inception (Damien Demento vs. Jim Brunzell, Koko B. Ware vs. anyone). Bastion Booger, the re-packaged Friar Ferguson (who lasted one TV taping) takes on Crush.
 

Pictured (left to right): The Raw girl, Themis Klarides;
fashion plate Diesel.

Diesel is obviously still easing into the leather-clad "Big Daddy Cool" persona, coming to the ring in a white rhinestone jacket and acid wash jeans. Kamala comes to the ring without Slick, forever depriving the wrestling world of a Slick/Diesel confrontation (I wonder which one's taller?). Kamala's gimmick is supposedly being made more sensitive suring this time, with him becoming less savage, more human, and a fan favorite, yet the announcers still have no problem pointing out how stupid he is and how he has no strategy. Michaels and Kamala have a staredown and tease a handshake until Michaels clocks Kamala. The Ugandan giant reverses an Irish whip to the buckle, catching Michaels with a Nice Maneuver (#1 - clothesline). Kamala then bites Shawn's hand, reflecting his "cannibalistic tendencies," says Heenan. Vince brings up Yokozuna's Stars & Stripes Challenge, held this coming Sunday in which he challenges any American athlete to slam him. Kamala, who has bodyslammed Andre the Giant in the past, is ineligible since he's from Uganda (and not, say Mississippi). Shawn jumps right into a Kamala bearhug as we cut to commercial.