Raw #166 - July 1st, 1996

Shawn Michaels, “the greatest sports-entertainer in the world today,” opens tonight’s Raw, walking down the aisle with his “Kliq Cam.” How is the view from the Kliq Cam being shown in real time if this is a live broadcast? Maybe I just answered my own question. Speaking of questions, tonight, HBK faces former Rockers partner Marty Jannetty to determine which one was the “Marty Jannetty” of their team.

Raw #152 - March 25th, 1996

Shawn Michaels kicks off Raw by augmenting his male stripper gimmick with a Japanese tourist gimmick, coming to the ring with a camcorder to film everything in sight. After Shawn puts away the “Kliq Cam,” he introduces his hometown San Antonio crowd to Supersock José Lothario. Considering Michaels is the “Sexy Boy,” shouldn’t Lothario be “Supersoxy?” Or is the name “Lothario” sexual enough?

Raw #147 - February 19th, 1996

Sunny advises viewer discretion tonight for material too hot for some. Vince recaps the previous night’s pay-per-view which featured an “eerie” ending. Not “eary” like Mankind, however. And what does the Ultimate Warrior have to do with tonight’s Raw? We’ll find out on tonight’s episode, which opens with Razor Ramon challenging for Goldust’s Intercontinental title. All this, plus another Billionaire Ted skit.

Raw #143 - January 15th, 1996

Tonight’s Raw opens with an intro honoring Martin Luther King and his dream, which is good news for the Federation’s one black wrestler, Ahmed Johnson. Mabel and Mo will be gone after Sunday’s Royal Rumble. Dok Hendrix tells us that Razor Ramon is on his way to the arena to confront Goldust, who has an interview tonight. Plus, a new Billionaire Ted skit will air. Also, some guy named The Ringmaster will debut, but that doesn’t make the intro package.

Raw #138 - December 4th, 1995

Bob Holly faces the number one contender for the WWF title tonight. Sparky's mullet is at its most glorious tonight, but will it help him knock off Davey Boy? Holly floats over Bulldog for the night's first Maneuver en route to delivering a flurry of offense. Bulldog fights back by lifting Bob up for a press slam and dropping him crotch-first onto the top rope. He follows this up with a delayed vertical suplex, a Maneuver (#2) that causes the blood to rush to Plugg's head. Holly makes a number of surprise pin attempts, but none are successful. The race car driver also hits a number of the best dropkicks in the business, but still can't put Smith away. Finally, Bulldog catches Holly in the corner and delivers a running powerslam for the victory.

Raw #136 - November 20th, 1995

It's a live Raw from Richmond, VA, the night after Survivor Series. We see clips of the 123 Kid's betrayal of Razor Ramon and joining of the Million Dollar Corporation. The Kid was a surprise member of the Bodydonnas team, taking the place of the recently-fired Jean-Pierre Lafitte, who ran afoul of the Clique. Not that you would know about the Bodydonnas-Underdogs match, nor the eight-woman tag match, neither of which were ever mentioned on Raw. Anyway, Sid interfered against Kid's former championship partner, Marty Jannetty, to give the newest Corporation member the victory. Later, Sid and the Kid distracted Razor, who was "powerbombed" by Davey Boy Smith, according to Vince, referring to the running powerslam. Better stick to just calling everything a "maneuver," McMahon.

Raw #134 - November 6th, 1995

The British Bulldog takes on Marty Jannetty to open the show in a battle of the 1992 firings. Dok Hendrix is at the announce table tonight, filling in for Jerry Lawler, who teams with Isaac Yankem to take on Bret Hart and Hakushi. The Modern-Day Kamikaze has apparently forgiven Bret Hart for being a racist. Speaking of which, did I mention that Michael Hayes is doing commentary tonight?

Raw #133 - October 30th, 1995

It's a Halloween Raw, introduced with a WWF Jack O'Lantern and a Dracula-like voiceover by Todd Pettengill. Finally, someone in the WWF acknowledges that Todd sucks. Vince McMahon is dressed as a jailbird, which Jerry Lawler jokes about ("I heard you got that outfit about a year ago, and this is the first time you got to wear it!"). Vince resists making the same crack about Jerry Lawler, given his legal woes in late '93. Lawler, by the way, is dressed as a doctor, later revealing his costume to be a proctologist. At least it's not a pediatrician or gynecologist.

Raw #132 - October 23rd, 1995

It's the night after In Your House, and Raw has a new theme, dubbed over the intro the show has been using for the past two months. As wrestlers enter the ring for a battle royal (with an Intercontinental title shot at stake), Vince announces the upcoming events for tonight's episode, including the unfortunate debut of Avatar and a rematch of Women's Champion Bertha Faye vs. the only other woman in the division, Alundra Blayze, neither of whom have been seen or mentioned on Raw since Bertha won the title at Summerslam.

Raw #128 - September 25th, 1995

It's the first live Raw in over a month, and everyone is dying to know who the new champion or champions are after last night's Triple Header match. Remember, Gorilla Monsoon guaranteed a title would change hands. Skip and Sunny are in the ring, waiting for their opponent, the returning Marty Jannetty, who was not advertised. Jannetty will set a record with this comeback, as he will last over a year before getting fired, a post-Rockers personal best for the former Intercontinental Champion. After a vague reference to last night's Triple Header match, Vince excitedly says that the titles could change hands yet again tonight, notwithstanding the British Bulldog/Undertaker match. It's taken me over a year of watching Raws, but I have finally figured out that Vince doesn't know what "notwithstanding" means. He seems to think it means, "not to mention" instead of "regardless or in spite of." Lawler says that Bulldog will use Taker as a fire hydrant. "A what!?" says an indignant Vince. If anyone's going to the bathroom on the Undertaker, it's Sid, not Davey Boy.

Figure Friday: The Rockers were Rip-Offs (and not of the Rock & Roll Express)

As a child of the New WWF Generation, I owned not only the Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels figures as part of the Rockers' tag team set, but as singles wrestlers, as well. In all those years, I never noticed that both figures are exactly the same, minus the heads. It's as if Hasbro were trying to sabotage the Rockers' split by refusing to differentiate between the two party animals. 

Raw #52 - February 21st, 1994

Monday Night Raw is live after a two-week absence due to the Westminster Dog Show. The show returns to the Mid-Hudson Civic Center and features the Macho Man back on commentary. Vince introduces him as "a man who one day will be in the WWF Hall of Fame." This, of course, is before Savage committed that unforgivable deed. You know the one I mean. Obviously, Vince is not going to let Savage into the Hall after he left the WWF abruptly to go to WCW. What did you think I was talking about?

Raw #51 - February 7th, 1994

We start off the fifty-first episode of Raw with a recap of last week's events, which set up tonight's main event of Marty Jannetty vs. IRS. Joining Vince McMahon tonight is... Bastion Booger? I did not see this coming. Booger says he has some gas for Sparky Plugg, who makes his Raw debut tonight, and that, like "The Rocket" Owen Hart, he feels like he's ready to blast off. It looks like this week's theme is "fart jokes."

Raw #50 - January 31st, 1994

This week's Raw is the first one filmed after the Royal Rumble, meaning that they're finally going to advance the post-Rumble storyline. The Wrestlemania title picture will be decided by the flip of a coin, apparently one with Lex and Bret's faces on either side. Considering Luger's patriotic mega-push this past summer, I'm surprised that Vince didn't petition the U.S. Mint to actually put Lex on a real coin.

Raw #47 - January 10th, 1994

Monday Night Raw celebrates its first anniversary tonight, and what better place to do so than in Richmond, Virginia? Footage airs from last week of Marty Jannetty and the 123 Kid getting in Johnny Polo's face and getting a tag team title match. Tonight, the Quebecers defend against Marty Confetti and the Poster Boy for Pampers (Polo's words, not mine). The Macho Man's theme music plays, heralding the return of Randy Savage to the announce table.

Raw #45 - December 27th, 1993

It's the last Raw of the year, and the WWF is pulling out all the stops, even going so far as to show some clips from a Women's Title tournament final! Vince is joined by the Quebecers on commentary tonight. We also get to see a manager wrestle a match (though in this case, the "manager" is future ECW champion Raven). Pierre takes advantage of his new media platform by speaking French (which might be awesome if he's slipping something completely off-color under the radar).

Raw #37 - October 25th, 1993

Tonight's Raw features Ludvig Borga, Diesel, and Men on a Mission, as well as a Superstar vs. Superstar match (finally) between faces Marty Jannetty and the 123 Kid. But first, we get a recap of the Savage-Crush summit, which ended with Crush attacking his very own brudda, Macho Man Randy Savage. Could this signal the return of Lanny "The Genius" Poffo to team with brother Randy against Crush and Yokozuna? No, of course not. What kind of stupid question is that?

Raw #30 - August 16th, 1993

IRS is a butt-patter. He loves patting boys' butts.

Raw's big 3-0 comes to you from Poughkeepsie, NY, home of the second-rate Raw graphics and a population well over a thousand people, unlike Alexandria Bay, where Raw has been held the past two weeks. Ted Dibiase comes down the aisle of the Mid-Hudson Civic Center to avenge his upset loss to the 123 Kid. Neither Razor Ramon nor IRS are allowed at ringside tonight. DiBiase pounds the Kid from the start. Razor, who is on the phone, says that the 123 Kid has a few surprises for the rich mang. The Kid is silent on the offensive front until launching a series of body presses and quick moves on DiBiase a few minutes into the match. DiBiase quickly regains control, but gets caught with a top rope body press. The Kid then attempts the Very High Risk Maneuver (#1) again, but it pushed off the top rope by IRS. The Steiners, who face Money Inc. in a cage match next week at the Summerslam Spectacular special on USA, make the save and clear the ring of the rich mang and the tax mang. The 123 Kid wins by disqualification. Vince McMahon argues with Bobby Heenan, insisting that there are only two columns, a win column and a loss column, and that this match would be entered into the "loss" column for Ted DiBiase. Curiously, the WWF has never published any win-loss columns, anywhere, ever.

Raw #26 - July 19th, 1993

Raw's twenty-sixth episode starts off with Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty in a rematch for HBK's Intercontinental title, a match I didn't know existed until yesterday. Raw girl Themis Klarides holds up yet another suggestive sign in the ring. Meanwhile, Michaels is accompanied by his fashion-challenged insurance policy, Diesel. Shawn's belt (excuse me, championship) now has a black strap, replacing the white strap, which replaced the blue strap. Diesel stands silently by in his rhinestone jacket and cowboy boots, perhaps mentally thanking Vince for at least not dubbing him "The Rhinestone Cowboy." Vince does, however, call him a "cool dude in a loose mood." WWF lost out on a great merchandising opportunity right there. Marty shows up Michaels' bodyguard by wearing an even more hideous outfit straight out of the early 90s (which, incidentally, is when this match took place).

What could have been.

Raw #22 - June 21st, 1993

The twenty-second episode of Raw is live from Poughkeepsie, New York, meaning that it's another night of second-rate graphics because the regular Raw graphics are on a computer at the Manhattan Center. We start off the show with a replay of The Kid's upset of Razor Ramon "six" (four) weeks ago. After the Raw intro, Vince runs down tonight's card, including the long-awaited rematch between Razor and the Kid, as well as a 2/3 falls match between Doink and Jannetty.
 

Flesh-toned tights are a bad choice
made worse as VHS tape degrades.

The Steiner Brothers make their entrance with the tag team titles in hand and are introduced as the new tag team champions. Care to explain, Vince? Their opponents are Barry Hardy and Reno Riggins. Vince goes on to explain that there has been not one, but three title changes in the past week, with the Steiners trading the belts with Money Inc. twice since Monday's house show in Columbus. That's four non-televised title changes so far this year. Scott lands a double-leg takedown on Hardy for a Nice Maneuver (#1) and a tag to Rick, who is wearing tights full of upside-down numbers. Leave the numbers to Scott, please. Rick picks up Hardy over his shoulder like a dominator and runs him gut-first into the top turnbuckle for a Maneuver (#2). Perhaps, Vince wonders, Rick Steiner can slam Yokozuna like that at the Stars and Stripes Challenge on July 4th. Scott tags in and hits a lightning-quick belly-to-belly on Barry Hardy. Steiner throws Hardy to his own corner and dares Reno Riggins to tag in. Steiner hits a Frankensteiner on Riggins, who lands head-first onto Steiner, for the victory.