Here's another WrestleCrap induction from a few years back that the advertising people flagged. Mind you, the induction of Vince McMahon's Kiss My Ass Club, which was chock full of pictures of the chairman's actual ass, was perfectly acceptable...
...but the same thing, when depicted in a cartoon, crossed the line.
If you liked the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club but wanted less talk and more ass-kissing, WWE.com had just the show for you in 2006.
The story goes that Michael Cole, who oversaw the WWE website at the time, pitched Vince McMahon a web series one of his staff suggested: a cartoon about Vince McMahon’s ass.
This cartoon ass could do tricks Vince McMahon’s real ass could only dream of:
Play the drums.
Pump iron.
Ride a motorcycle.
And of course, Vince loved it, commissioning the animated series and even including the first installment on WWE’s next DVD release (Survivor Series 2006, for all you collectors).
Mr. McMahon and His Ass
The show begins with a lengthy intro (thirty seconds of a sub-two minute short). And it feels even longer with the sound on: its theme is a repetitive call-and-response, with one singer saying, “Mr. McMahon and his ass” …
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| (The title of the show, by the way) |
…while backing vocalists answer, “And his ass, and his ass”. These are likely the same singers who sang the 1998 Survivor Series theme, among others. Just don’t expect this one to end up on the next WWE Anthology.
Season 1, Episode 1
All your favorites are here:
Bobby Lashley...
Rey Mysterio...
Plus this blonde who could be anyone:
To their dismay, the foppish French caterer presents them with a bunch of veggie crap: seaweed, tofu turkey, soy-ghetti with “meatless balls”. That’s right — the wimp wouldn’t even spring for real grapefruits!
Vince McMahon (who actually went into a recording booth and read these lines) is livid at the lack of meat, telling Pierre here to kiss his “Thanksgiving Ass-erole”.
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| Hey, that’s the title of the episode! |
As Vince’s ass pounds the dinner table with its fists, the waiter hems and haws. Kiss Vince’s ass? But that’s made of… meat!
Rey and Bobby take matters into their own hands, sliding the waiter across the table and into Vince’s ass.
The poor guy even gets stuck in there, apparently, flailing helplessly and making kissing noises…
…until Vince McMahon farts him clear out of the ring.
Always thinking ahead, Vince came into Turkey Day with a back-up plan: His ass pulls a complete Thanksgiving dinner out of… itself.
Amazed, the Superstars prepare to chow down on the bountiful spread. No wonder Vince loved this cartoon: WWE Superstars essentially learn to eat s*** and like the taste!
Season 1, Episode 2
For the next month’s episode, WWE teased the first celebrity inductee into the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club.
We learned this (former) A-lister’s identity in “The Passion of the Ass”. Mercifully, this was not a parody of 2004’s The Passion of the Christ (perhaps with Judas joining the Club).
Instead, it targeted that film’s director, Mel Gibson. Unlike the French dweeb from the first short, Mel actually deserved to join the Kiss My Ass Club, having torpedoed his career with a drunken, antisemitic rant. Just months later, Mel was attempting a comeback with his new film, Apocalypto, and WWE was not having it!
It was a resounding statement by WWE.com against antisemitism (though this same website later produced What’s Crackin’ with Scott Goldman).
The episode begins with Vince McMahon pulling up in a limo to a bar.
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| (Perhaps he’d run out of milk at home) |
As paparazzi hound Mr. McMahon, a drunken Mel Gibson stumbles out, held up by two Mayans from his new movie, Apocalypto.
The disgraced actor bumps into the chiseled-jawed Chairman, who lets him have it: “Watch where you’re going, you DRRRUNK!”
Gibson calls Vince, “Ed McMahon”, offending the WWE boss. “That’s *Mister* McMahon!” he says, not actually addressing the substance of Mel’s mistake.
Gibson accuses The Wrestlers of starting all wars, echoing a previous accusation he’d made (but only about certain wrestlers like Goldberg and Barry Horowitz).
Fed up, McMahon threatens Mel with a Lethal Weapon of his own.
No, not Steve Blackman. It’s his ass!
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| Imagine Steve wearing that on his head |
And just like that, Vince bares his butt, which sprouts arms and puts Mel in a headlock.
His ass then farts out a Hamlet soliloquy so well-delivered, the sidewalk transforms into a stage.
As roses rain down on Mr. McMahon’s ass, its owner welcomes Gibson to the Kiss My Ass Club.
…leading Mel to utter, then apologize for, “anti-assite slurs”.
Good for him for owning up to it, at least. Frankly, WWE’s own history of casual anti-assitism makes Attitude Era shows hard to watch today.
In the split-second it’s on-screen, the article also details such future Shakespearean Ass projects as “Much a-doo doo about Ass”, “The Taming of the Ass”, and “Henry the Ass”.
That’s a lot of attention to detail for a copywriter who misspelled “portrayal” in the lede.
Season 1, Episo…
After this episode, WWE abruptly stopped production of Mr. McMahon and His Ass, canceling the series and scrubbing its existence from the web.
You might assume that some higher-up in WWE convinced Vince the cartoon was in poor taste, but no!
It was in fact a lawsuit that forced Mr. McMahon and His Ass off the Internet. It seems the creators of Cartoon Network’s Assy McGee were none too pleased with WWE’s apparent plagiarism.
Even more unbelievable is that the WWE cartoon actually beat Assy McGee to release, debuting a few days before that show premiered on Adult Swim.
So was the debut of two shows about sentient asses an astounding coincidence, on par with the same-day premieres of comic strips called Dennis the Menace?
Or did a WWE.com staffer see an Assy McGee commercial and rush a knock-off onto the web?
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| (Let’s face it: There’s no way “Thanksgiving Ass-erole” took more than a day to make) |
Either way, WWE pulled the cartoon and allegedly demoted Michael Cole for okaying the concept.
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| (Though we can’t rule out anti-assitism as a motive) |
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