Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Raw #185 - November 18th, 1996

Steve Austin arrives on Raw to face Mankind in a “tough man contest.” Originally, Vader was pencilled in as Stone Cold’s opponent, but he was injured by the 700-pound (“I would suggest,” says McMahon) Yokozuna the night before at Survivor Series with a uranage. The shoulder injury is said to only sideline Vader for a few days, but that’s enough time to keep him off television all month thanks to the compact taping schedule.

Mankind attacks Austin from behind before he even gets to the ring, and the two “individuals” brawl in the aisle as referees try to separate them. After ages, both men finally roll into the ring to start the match, only for the action to spill outside again as Vince praises both men’s performances last night despite their losses. Mankind grabs a chair but gets kicked by Austin on the outside. The referee grabs the chair away, and Stone Cold whips Mankind into and over the guard rail. Mankind slaps on the mandible claw in the middle of the ring, but Austin counters with a low blow. Vince McMahon calls the move, “unbelievable,” a word he has already used four other times on this broadcast.
Mankind guillotine leg-drops Austin on the ring apron, then drops his throat on the guard rail. Austin then tries to suplex Mankind off the apron to the outside, but the move gets countered and Stone Cold is dropped back into the ring. If this match sounds like merely a string of high-impact moves and violence, then I am painting an accurate picture of the bout. Mankind does a kind of stunner on Austin across the top rope, then climbs the top ropes and gets pulled down. Austin then chokes Mankind and stomps his head. Nobody has really explained what exactly makes a “tough man contest” different from a regular match, but it apparently means, “no ring psychology allowed.” The Executioner runs in and brawls with Austin, drawing a disqualification, further confusing the audience as to what makes exactly a “tough man contest” entails. Undertaker shows up to clean house, then gets clotheslined by Austin, who backs off when Taker steps back into the ring.



Ahmed Johnson is (just barely) seen making his way down the steps in the audience and taking a seat. How the announcers spotted that, I don’t know. The Nation of Domination, Faarooq’s new stable, is scheduled to appear, but first, former manager Sunny struts to the ring accompanied by her new theme about how she knows I want her. A sign reading, “Tammy Fytch Fan Club” is spotted in the crowd, which is what she went by in Smoky Mountain Wrestling and is very similar to her real name. Wikipedia has not yet been launched. She introduces Faarooq, who is led out by the rapping PG-13, who before last night hadn’t been seen in the WWF, since being totally outmatched by the Smoking Gunns last year. One of the PG-13 members (either PG-6 or PG-7) is wearing a hat that says, “NOD,” which is a very positive message. His sunglasses should say, “WINK.” At this point, I’m not sure how two back-up rappers constitute a faction, but if that’s the case, I suppose Flash Funk and the Funkettes is also a powerful new stable.
Faarooq, no longer wearing his gladiator get-up, takes on Savio Vega, who appeared for the first time in a month last night for a meaningless thrown-together elimination match that ended in a double-DQ and saw Vader get injured. Savio monkey-flips Faarooq for a Nice Maneuver. Jerry Lawler, meanwhile, flirts with Sunny and very subtly looks down her top. Faarooq downs Vega with a Maneuver (#2 - spinebuster), but covers him lackadaisically, allowing a kick-out. Afterwards, Faarooq gives his Black Panther — I mean, Nation of Domination salute to Ahmed.

After the commercial break, Faarooq crashes down on Savio’s back a number of times until Savio rolls over and catches the Black Separatist with a knee to the groin, which Vince finds, “unbelievable.” Vince and JR speculate about why Faarooq brought a 2x4 to the ring, believing the piece of wood to be for “protection.” What, is it hollowed out? Even so, latex is much more practical. Faarooq gets crotched on the top rope, allowing Savio to set up a superplex him. Sunny and the King agree that Vega can’t suplex Faarooq, and they are proven correct when both men spill to the floor in a botched spot. Vince takes the opportunity to brag about how you’ll only see people take risks like that in the WWF. Both men scramble back into the ring, where Savio hits a spinning heel kick but then falls over the top rope, where he is clubbed by a 2x4 by PG-13. Faarooq gets the pin, but Ahmed Johnson storms ringside, flings one of PG-13 by his 2x4, then cleans house with the block of wood. Sunny pleads on her headset that she has nothing to do with the Nation of Domination, so Ahmed better not go after her. Ahmed gets on the mic and cuts a promo on Faarooq and gets the audience to chant along with him, “You’re going down!” Coincidentally, that’s what Faarooq will say to his “good friend” Sunny later tonight.
In more important news, it’s time for the final first-round bout of the Karate Fighters tournament. Lawler likes “the way Sunny can twist those knobs.” In a pre-match promo, Bob Backlund criticizes Sunny’s “accoutrement” for living a “slovenlier lifestyle.” Sunny gets the win and taunts Backlund like a brat while the former presidential hopeful places the blame on his Karate Fighter, “Stone Head” (Headstone). A replay shows that Samurai Ninja won with a “flying leg kick.” That puts Sunny in direct competition with Sable, while the new world champion Sid is expected to play along and play with toys with Mr. Perfect (who isn’t even in the WWF anymore).
Jim Ross awaits an interview with Sid, but in the meantime, Vince narrates last night’s events that saw Sid strike both Shawn Michaels and José Lothario with a camera, using the phrase, “and then from there” four times. Vince then went on to explain how great a guy Shawn is for helping his mentor at the expense of the title.
Future JOB Squad teammates Leif Cassidy and Bob Holly team up and enter to The Rockers’ music to face Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon. Lou Albano can’t remember what tag team he’s supposed to come down with, so he accidentally steps out during the Cassidy/Holly entrance. Albano hangs around the aisle until Furnas & LaFon arrive. The Captain then joins the Spanish announce table and shows off his rich Spanish vocabulary, such as “sí” and “lucha.” Vince praises Phil LaFon for being proficient in technical skill and Submission Maneuvers (#3). LaFon’s boot gets caught by Leif, but he counters with a spinning mule kick, a Maneuver (#4) that sends Cassidy to the outside.
Furnas hits a Frankensteiner on Cassidy, then tags in his partner, who is nearly pinned by Leif’s dragon suplex. In response, LaFon catches his opponent with a cobra clutch and suplexes him backwards, dropping him on his head for a pinfall victory.
Sid enters to a big pop, bumping fists with the fans. But before he can speak, Dok Hendrix tries to sell us a piece of the top rope used at Survivor Series. Vince then tells us about the next In Your House, also sponsored by Milton Bradley Karate Fighters, saying, “It’s About Time.” Actually, the tagline is, “It’s Time,” despite the fact that thanks to Yokozuna, Vader won’t even be there. Sid says he has no remorse for striking José Lothario last night because the 61-year-old put himself into the picture by getting on the apron. Some fans boo Sid, while others boo his next opponent, Bret Hart. Sid tells Bret that his “wrestling comeback in the wrestling, World Wrestling Federation” will end when he faces Sid. He then calls Bret, “Britman.” Next week, the Britman faces his brother Owen.


Final tally:

4 Maneuvers (Year total: 172)
4 From Theres
4 I Would Suggests
2 And I Might Adds
10 Unbelievables
7 Oh My Goodnesses
3 Individuals

1 comment:

  1. 4 Maneuvers (Year total: 172)
    4 From Theres
    4 I Would Suggests
    2 And I Might Adds
    10 Unbelievables
    7 Oh My Goodnesses
    3 Individuals


    ...and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!

    ReplyDelete