Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Raw #99 - February 20th, 1995

For the first time in weeks, Raw comes to us live and without a green screen, this time from Nelson Muntz's ideal Spring Break destination, Macon, Georgia. The city also happens to be, according to Vince, the home of "Otis, my man!" He is referring to Otis Redding, whom he likely never met considering that he died in a plane crash 28 years earlier. Diesel faces Jeff Jarrett in a WWF title defense, while Shawn Michaels "unveils" his new bodyguard. The last person to be literally unveiled in the WWF was Narcissus. Bam Bam Bigelow also makes his return to action in a squash match after not wrestling an entire TV taping due to suspension.

Bam Bam takes on Gary "Italian Stallion" Sabaugh while a split screen shows us various clips of LT's lawyers, including one who accuses the WWF of implying that LT will wrestle and demands that they cease and desist. If only that weren't kayfabe. Life would imitate art, however, when the following year's "Geriatric Match" between "The Huckster" and "The Nacho Man" was forced off the Wrestlemania pay-per-view and onto the pre-show. Vince introduces Jim Cornette on commentary, who is taking over for Shawn. Sabaugh, whom Cornette claims is also the world spaghetti-eating champion, holds his own against the Beast from the East. Apparently Cornette isn't making that up. "LT" chants distract Bigelow, who eventually wins with a top-rope headbutt. Bam Bam then takes the mic to challenge LT once again.
Adam Bomb, "The Creation of Devastation," returns to Raw to take on Rip Taylor wannabe, Rip Rogers. Bomb quickly takes down Rogers with a Nice Maneuver (#1 - shoulder block). Cornette mentions that today is Presidents' Day, then wonders why they would name a holiday after Jack Tunney. Fortunately, Vince does not offer up any historical "facts" about the holiday, such as how George Washington freed the slaves or Thomas Jefferson invented the Franklin stove. A Bomb dropkick sends Rogers into the ropes, where he gets caught before taking an obvious dive to the outside, which the announcers catch and rationalize as strategy. Bomb then planchas onto Rogers, a High-Risk Maneuver (#2). Bomb finishes off Rogers with a flying clothesline.

A clip from Superstars shows Bret Hart receiving an award from WWF Magazine's readers. Bret said that he still dreams of regaining the WWF title (which he will later in the year, but only after beating a dentist and a pirate in consecutive pay-per-views).
Jerry Lawler hosts The King's Court, and before bringing out Shawn Michaels, he accuses Bret Hart of being racist against Japanese people. So, you know, typical stuff. Where was he in 1993 when Hulk called Yokozuna a "Jap"? Interesting choice of words by Lawler, accusing Hart of "slanted remarks." Shawn comes out and talks about why he needs a bodyguard while Vince expresses his impatience on commentary. Jim Cornette thinks the bodyguard will be Jeff Galluli. Instead, Shawn introduces "the big, the bad, the vicious, Sid," who happens to have his own theme music despite just being a bodyguard. Cornette calls him a "psycho." Sid cuts a constipated promo on how he will always be Shawn's bodyguard no matter what (for 6 weeks, at least).

The Blu Twins make their Raw debut along with Uncle Zebekiah (Coulter). They take on Mark Starr and Leroy Howard. While the Berzerker-lookalikes dominate their jobber opponents, the Toddster tells us that LT will be on Raw next week. Jim Cornette then makes reference to Ron Brown, Secretary of Commerce, who is being investigated by the Department of Justice, whom Cornette jokes will investigate anybody. Cue Vince McMahon laughter. Cornette also compares the Blus to the Headshrinkers in terms of raw meat-eating. Jacob or Eli pins Starr after a leg drop. The twins then stare confusedly at the camera in the corner of the ring. "ZZ Top lives!" says Vince, regarding the Blu Twins' hair and beards, forgetting that ZZ Top is still performing with all their original members.
The title match is next, with Diesel entering to cheers and really ugly signs. Diesel gets off to a quick start, clotheslining Jarrett over the tope rope. Diesel then gets Jarrett in the corner, where he pulls off some new moves, such as elbows and a choke with his boot. Jarrett avoids snake eyes and tries to punch Diesel on the turnbuckles but is inexplicably pulled down by referee Earl Hebner. Diesel then chucks the IC champion over the top rope onto The Roadie. Double J tries in vain to signal for time-out, forgetting that the Raw Bowl is still 11 months away so time-outs don't count. Diesel grabs onto Jarrett's hand and won't let go, so The Roadie tries to pull on Jeff's other arm. Instead, Diesel drags Double J over the tope rope, bringing the Roadie along with him, who gets kicked by Hebner square in the gut.

Jarrett has managed to free himself from Diesel's grip during the commercial and knocks Diesel out of the ring when Raw returns. Jarrett continues his offense out of the ring, then rolls the champion back into the ring to avoid a countout. Jarrett tries pinning Diesel after dropkicks, body presses,  and top-rope bulldogs. Diesel finally catches him with a side slam, which Vince incorrectly labels a sidewalk slam, to take the advantage back. Diesel jitters around the ring signaling for the jackknife after hitting the big boot. The powerbomb puts Jarrett away for a three-count. The Roadie, who was never a member of the Clique, charges at Diesel, who was never a member of D-X, only to eat a big boot, figuratively. Only a weirdo like Gene "foot fetish" Snitsky would literally do that. Shawn and Sid stand in the entranceway, scouting the champion.
Cornette has a microphone in hand for some reason when Raw returns. Shawn and Sid stand in the aisle again, neither one wearing a shirt. Vince then forces Cornette to interview the two as they come to ringside. Cornette is scared of Sid, whom Shawn says can more than fill Diesel's shoes (which is also something Snitsky might do); he can knock him out of his shoes. Next week, Lex Luger faces Native American Tatanka on the unheralded 100th episode of Raw.

Final Tally:

2 Maneuvers (Year total: 35)

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