Raw #142 - January 8th, 1996

On tonight’s Raw, Shawn Michaels makes a “stunning” announcement at a press conference. What could it possibly be about? I have no idea, but that is a very nice Royal Rumble logo hung up right behind the Heartbreak Kid. Raw debuts its new opening video, using its original theme song and an updated roster that doesn’t include Dean Douglas.

Raw #140 - December 18th, 1995

In a live episode of Raw, one night removed from In Your House, Jeff Jarrett makes his return to the ring. Just don't blink, because Double J will be out of the Federation once again after the Royal Rumble. Will his unexplained five-month absence from competition make a difference? Speaking of making a difference, Fatu is his opponent tonight. "It's time to clean it up!" says the former Headshrinker's entrance theme, suggesting a future tag team venture with Duke "The Dumpster" Droese.

Raw #120 - July 17th, 1995

Shawn Michaels aims to slap the taxman across the face in this last televised match of IRS's. But first, the tag team championship combination of Yokozuna and Owen Hart make their way to the ring for a warm-up match before their title defense against the Allied Powers. If you'll recall that Lex Luger never won a title in the WWF, you can pretty well guess how that match turns out. Their opponents tonight are Jim Dimitri and Gus Kantarrakis. "Sounds like a law firm," says Jim Cornette at ringside. "Who are these two jokes?"

Raw #118 - July 3rd, 1995

Sid and Bam Bam Bigelow face off tonight in a battle of the dissapointing big men whose careers would be sabotaged by the Clique! Jerry Lawler is back on tonight's episode (which was taped right after the previous episode). Jerry is carrying around a bottle of Scope, still selling his foot-kissing injuries. He promises another visit to the offices of Dr. Isaac Yankem (pronounced, YAN-kəm) tonight. Lawler takes a big swig of Scope and swallows it after promising that his dentist would "extract" revenge on the Hitman.

Raw #117 - June 26th, 1995

The Raw after King of the Ring 1995 begins with a recap of the previous night's most important bout. The tag team main event between Diesel & Bam Bam and Sid & Tatanka? The tournament finals pitting Mabel against Savio Vega? Of course not. It's Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler. That match just happened to be a "Kiss My Foot" match, but regardless...

Raw #113 - May 29th, 1995

Tonight's Raw comes to you taped from Binghamton, New York, where Double J is running his mouth about beating the Undertaker tonight in the King of the Ring qualifying match. the lights go out, causing Jarrett to panic in fear of Taker while his electronic hat continues to flash. Instead of the man from the Dark Side, we get the opening theme of Raw.

Tonight on History's Mysteries: Was Double J the inspiration behind the Mothman legend?

Raw #110 - May 8th, 1995

Last week, fans were treated to two top superstars, Razor Ramon and Sid, in a non-match. Will the bait-and-switch tactics continue tonight? The obvious sexual tension between announcers Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler boils over in the opening segment, with Vince telling the audience to look at the King's "kisser." Jerry is excited to be facing Bret Hart at the In Your House pay-per-view (at least that's why he says he's excited).

Raw #102 - March 13th, 1995

In tonight's cold opening, Vince promises a match between Bret Hart and Jerry Lawler, who has been accusing Hart of being a racist, as well as a tag team match between the Blu Twins and the "dream team" of The 123 Kid and Bob Holly. The opening must have been prepared well in advance, as the face team got caught in traffic due to California storms. Therefore, the Samoan savage team of the Headshrinkers are the ones to face the Appalachian savage team of the Blu Twins. Uncle Zebekiah is in the twins' corner, but neither of the Headshrinkers' managers are at ringside.

Raw #99 - February 20th, 1995

For the first time in weeks, Raw comes to us live and without a green screen, this time from Nelson Muntz's ideal Spring Break destination, Macon, Georgia. The city also happens to be, according to Vince, the home of "Otis, my man!" He is referring to Otis Redding, whom he likely never met considering that he died in a plane crash 28 years earlier. Diesel faces Jeff Jarrett in a WWF title defense, while Shawn Michaels "unveils" his new bodyguard. The last person to be literally unveiled in the WWF was Narcissus. Bam Bam Bigelow also makes his return to action in a squash match after not wrestling an entire TV taping due to suspension.

Raw #96 - January 23rd, 1995

The night after the Royal Rumble, serious Vince opens Raw in serious fashion, offering a serious apology for the actions of Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow, who shoved NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor at the pay-per-view. Bigelow, he says, has been suspended, no doubt by Federation President and announcer Vince McMahon's boss, Jack Tunney.

Raw #95 - January 16th, 1995

One week removed from the big 2nd anniversary show live in Houston, Raw comes to you taped with the announcers standing in front of a green screen. Also, instead of Hakushi making his Raw debut like last week, Mantaur will make his Raw debut. Also, William Shatner makes another appearance. Not only is the "boy toy" Shawn Michaels there to stripper it up, but the Heavenly Bodies are in the ring to open the show with more overt references to male prostitution thanks to "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray. All in all, it looks like a stellar show.

Raw #94 - January 9th, 1995

Tonight, Raw hails from Houston, Texas for the first time for its second anniversary. Monday Night Raw pays tribute to the very first episode of Raw by not being very good! At least tonight, there will be an Intercontinental title match that will not include Max Moon. There will also be male nudity and William Shatner, who will be on King's Court tonight. The Star Trek star tells Lawler in advance to leave him alone, because he's only there to promote the new USA series Tech War. If the King wants a piece of Shat on this Monday Night, he's come to the right place!

Raw #93 - January 2nd, 1995

The first faces we see on Raw in 1995 are those of the as-of-yet unnamed Roadie and Jeff Jarrett, who promises to sing in public for the first time tonight. Shawn Michaels is back on commentary along with Gorilla Monsoon, who is filling for Vince. McMahon may be "under the weather," but Gorilla and Shawn are in front of a green screen. Ted DiBiase's music plays over the two announcers as The Million Dollar Man accompanies Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka for their match against the soon-to-be Allied Powers. Monsoon wonders if there will be gold coming to the Million Dollar Corporation, and there most certainly will, as long as you count Paul Bearer's urn as gold.

Raw #91 - December 19th, 1994

Lex Luger enters the ring to kick off tonight's Raw in the cold opening. Shawn Michaels, who is a semi-regular now at the announce table, sports a Santa cap, as does Vince McMahon. A brilliant fan in attendance holds up a sign reading, "I cheat on my taxes." "Hey, look," says Michaels, "it's Joe Montana!" I can only assume that the 49ers quarterback is in some sort of tax trouble at this time. Fortunately, Vince explains the context of the joke (Montana is being investigated for a sports memorabilia business, but Vince insists that just because the government is investigating someone doesn't mean that the person has done anything wrong. Gee, I wonder why he would say that?), but not before expressing how appalled he is that Shawn would say such a thing. Hopefully no actual IRS agents are watching this episode, or else this fan might be getting some phone calls.

Raw #86 - November 14th, 1994

Another Savage-less Raw is upon us, this time featuring Ted DiBiase on commentary. The 123 Kid is already in the ring as the show begins, waiting for opponent Bob Backlund to arrive. When the former WWWF champion does enter the ring, he is immediately backed into the corner and it with a series of kicks by the Kid, including the quickest Maneuver (#1 - roundhouse kick) in the history of Raw (delivered less than a minute into the program). Backlund sells in comical fashion.

Raw #82 - October 17th, 1994

Raw opens up with a series of outdoor clips from Burlington, Vermont, which hosts tonight's live episode. A confused Macho Man (at his last ever WWF taping) says, "This isn't The Learning Channel!" and he's right. The main difference between Monday Night Raw and TLC is that for the past decade or so, Raw has had provided more culturally enriching programming than the cable network known for fashion, decorating, and Honey Boo Boo. Speaking of cultural enrichment, Doink comes to the ring with Dink and the newest addition to his entourage, Wink. They josh around with the Spanish announce team before the Raw intro, over which a Stridex logo is plastered as Todd Pettengill hocks the acne treatment. This is the most disgraceful act of commercialism since Pepsi bought South Korea.

Raw #76 - August 15th, 1994

In the cold opening this week, we see clips from last week's episode, where Tatanka caught Luger with a fistful of dollars, then found him backstage in Ted DiBiase's dressing room. In an important development to this riveting angle, Tatanka is now calling Luger a "turncoat" to add some variety to his accusations of selling out. Somehow, at a time when 6'6'' Brian Lee is dressing up as and (very poorly) imitating  the Undertaker, this Luger-Tatanka-sellout angle is the stupidest storyline of the summer.

Raw #70 - July 4th, 1994

It's a Fourth of July edition of Monday Night Raw! On this day last year, Lex Luger turned face and bodyslammed Yokozuna, and look how far that has gotten him in the past year! Why, he almost made it to the King of the Ring. Raw kicks off with a battle between two King of the Ring entrants who lost in the first round, Tatanka and Jeff Jarrett. Hopefully this match will end better than that other match between two King of the Ring entrants who lost in the first round, Bam Bam vs. Mabel, which Mabel won by countout last week.

King of the Ring 1994: Enter Donovan

Given that my blog is called, "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?", it's a foregone conclusion that I would review 1994's King of the Ring, where the phrase was coined by Art Donovan. To write an original analysis of the event, however, is a daunting task, considering that Wrestlecrap's induction of Art Donovan years ago, along with compilation videos like Botchamania 72, not only have covered Art's antics at the PPV extensively, but were my inspiration for taking the name Art0Donnell in the first place. What could I possibly add to the conversation (assuming that there is indeed a "conversation" about an eighteen-year-old pay-per-view)? Fortunately, if you have ever read a single post of mine on this blog, you'll know that I have been following the Federation during this time period very closely, so you may yet learn something from this recap (besides how much Mabel weighs).

Raw #65 - May 30th, 1994

It's the last Raw of May, and next month's King of the Ring bracket is almost set in stone. We see a video package of all of the qualifiers as the bracket takes shape. IRS, Razor Ramon, Mabel, Bam Bam Bigelow, Jeff Jarrett, Owen Hart, and The 123 Kid have all been entered into the first round, leaving just one slot left to go. That position will be filled by the winner of tonight's main event, which was advertised last week: Tatanka vs. Jimmy Del Ray, who has recently undergone a makeover where he wears face paint, has added muscle mass, and gained several inches in height to look exactly like Crush. In fact, he's even calling himself "Crush" now and taken Mr. Fuji as a manager. This is going to be confusing for many viewers.

The resemblance is uncanny.