The Wrestlemania 29 Preview

It's that time of year again: Art0Donnell's first annual Wrestlemania Preview! So, scratch out that word, "again," okay?

Pre-show - Wade Barrett vs. the Miz: The lesson of this match is, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again, then challenge for the Intercontinental title instead. After what felt like months of chasing Antonio Cesaro's US title, the Miz has moved on to the Intercontinental title, which is basically the same thing. Cesaro's reward for having held on to the title since Summerslam is having the night off on the biggest show of the year. Both men are in WWE Films at the moment, so that won't factor into the outcome of the match. I predict The Miz will go over, based on his Nature Boy veteran rub and the fact that Barrett recently got kicked in the crotch by Triple H for no reason, perhaps in commemoration of his burial of Booker "Nappy Hair" T ten years ago.

Cena vs. CM Punk

John Cena is putting his guaranteed Wrestlemania title shot on the line so that he can prove that he can beat CM Punk. See, Cena has never ever beaten CM Punk... except the time he did in November 2009.


If only John Cena had a memory longer than 3 years, he could have spared himself the utterly stupid decision to wager his title shot.

Ending the Streak: It's Now or Never

Another Streak DVD:
Now with 5% more content!

The Undertaker's Wrestlemania undefeated streak is the most prestigious record in wrestling. Unlike other achievements, like Ric Flair's sixteen world titles, this streak cannot be duplicated or beaten on a booker's whim. John Cena could win the WWE title five times this year and break Flair's record, but nobody is going to win 20 straight Wrestlemania matches unless WWE creative starts booking two decades ahead. Though 'Taker's streak went largely unnoticed for the first ten years or so, it has been the centerpiece of feuds and WWE Home Video Releases, most recently, the "20-0" DVD. As much money as the streak has earned, it is surely reaching the point of diminishing returns. How much can WWE make off a "21-0" DVD? No, the last great money-making angle to come out of the streak is its end, and in the opinion of the editorial staff of How Much Does This Guy Weigh? (Hi!), there is only one man up to the task, and only one time to get the job done: this year's Wrestlemania.

Rejected Royal Rumble Stats

Every year, WWE puts out a "Royal Rumble by the Numbers" video, each time slightly updated and usually filled with misleading "facts" and figures. For instance, the 36 Hall of Famers to enter the Rumble have supposedly "headlined" a total of 25 Wrestlemania "main events." There have been 28 Wrestlemanias, so there ought to therefore be only three Wrestlemanias without Hall-of-Famers in the main event. 

Well, there was: Bam Bam vs. LT (WM 11), Undertaker vs. Sid (13), The Rock vs. Big Show vs. Triple H vs. Mick Foley (who is not yet in the Hall of Fame) (16), Triple H vs. Chris Jericho (18), Lesnar vs. Angle (19), Batista vs. Triple H (21), Cena vs. Triple H (22), Orton vs. Triple H (25), Cena vs. Miz (27), and Cena vs. The Rock (28). That's ten Wrestlemania main events without Hall of Famers, leaving only 16 Wrestlemania main events "headlined" by Hall-of-Famers. I'm not sure what exactly WWE's definitions of "headline" or "main event" are, but they apparently allow Hall-of-Famer Edge to "headline" the WM 27 against Alberto Del Río in the opening match "main event."

As you can see from the first minute of the video, WWE's grasp of reality is a tad... skewed. I've therefore put together my own set of statistics that, while accurate to the best of my knowledge, didn't make the cut. Note that these stats don't cover the "unofficial" Rumbles like the MSG Rumble of 1994 or the Osaka Rumble, also of 1994.

Old Gray Rumble Just Ain't What She Used to Be

"It is my destiny to jerk the curtain!"

With WWE's annual January pay-per-view spectacular just around the corner, the big question on my mind is "Who's going to win the Royal Rumble?"

Nah, just kidding. The big question on my mind is "Why in the blue hell should I care?"

Raw turns 20: Then and Now

With yesterday marking the 20th anniversary of the first episode of Monday Night Raw (January 11th, 1993), it's time to take a look back at the landscape of Raw during those first few episodes and see how far the weekly wrestling program has come in the past 20 years.

Then: Undersized champion beloved by smarks.	Now: Undersized champion beloved by smarks.