Raw #167 - July 8th, 1996

Tonight’s top story: The Ultimate Warrior has been suspended! After no-showing multiple live events, Gorilla Monsoon has suspended Warrior indefinitely until he posts a bond. However, Warrior will be wrestling tonight as advertised because Monsoon is such a fan-friendly President. And also because his match was filmed two weeks ago.

Raw #163 - June 10th, 1996

Yokozuna wrestles his third-to-last televised match, facing former tag team partner Owen Hart in a King of the Ring match-up. Last year, Yoko fell victim to the awesome power of Savio Vega to be eliminated from the tournament. How will he fare against Owen? Jerry Lawler also shows off the portrait of the Ultimate Warrior he painted to patch things up with the man from the Parts Unknown. The picture is impressive, especially since he must have painted it in less than two hours at the announce table, since that’s how long ago in real time that he and Warrior’s feud started.

Raw #162 - June 3rd, 1996

Bob Holly is in the ring when Raw begins. The likes of Holly and Aldo Montoya have really benefitted from the Monday Night War; now that Raw has eliminated non-contracted jobbers from its matches for the sake of competitiveness, the lowest tier “Superstars” get a chance to shine and count the lights every Monday night. Vince McMahon announces that Ahmed Johnson will be challenging Goldust for the Intercontinental Title at King of the Ring after last week’s “mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.”

Raw #161 - May 27th, 1996

Goldust is in the ring at the outset of the show, and Vince speculates that the arena will “shake, rattle, and roll” when “The Man They Call The Ultimate Warrior” enters. Vince has just confused Warrior with both the Honky Tonk Man and Vader. Warrior does enter to pyro, but no hip-shaking. Goldust stays out of the ring, afraid of the Warrior, so Warrior slowly stalks him.

Raw #160 - May 20th, 1996

Last night was an eventful house show at Madison Square Garden. The big news on Raw is that the Bodydonnas lost the tag team titles to the Godwinns. The bigger news, not mentioned on Raw, is that four members of the Clique gave a public farewell at the end of the show, leading to Hunter Hearst Helmsley’s burial over the next few months.

Raw #157 - April 29th, 1996

Tonight’s Raw is all about SEX! Whom did Shawn Michaels proposition last night? Sable? Marlena? Sunny (once again)? Nope, try Diana Smith! Shawn certainly did. Mankind has his third match on Raw, this time against Bart Gunn, who is in the midst of the Smoking Gunns Awareness campaign to remind everyone that they still exist despite brother Billy’s horseback injury.

Raw #156 - April 22nd, 1996

This week’s Raw opens with a rematch between Savio Vega and Goldust for the vacant Intercontinental title. Vince comments that Goldust has “lost weight” as of late, referring to his loss of the IC belt and not to his infamous weight fluctuations over the next two decades. Vince compares Gorilla Monsoon’s decision last week to those of King Solomon, saying “you can’t split the baby in two” (which is not a reference to Terri Runnels’s kayfabe miscarriage in 1999). Jerry Lawler mentions that Sunny has “two huge surprises” for the Godwinns tonight. My guess is her breasts. Anyone else guessing, “breasts”?

Raw #154 - April 8th, 1996

With Jerry Lawler facing Shawn Michaels in tonight’s main event, the King has been replaced on commentary. You could say that tonight’s announcing will be “perfect.” You’d be wrong, though, as Vince is still at the announce table. Our opening contest is Vader vs. Yokozuna, the match that was originally scheduled for Wrestlemania.

Don't let the Ultimate Warrior spoil your Thanksgiving

On the November 1988 edition of Saturday Night's Main Event, the Ultimate Warrior made this vow to his mysterious challenger and his manager. Why Japan's Mr. Fuji and Super Ninja would celebrate Thanksgiving in the first place, however, is never quite explained.

Haitian Ramon

Everybody needs to check out the Youtube channel of Dogmatic Premades, who I am going to guess is from Haiti. He re-enacts famous WWF vignettes from the 1990s.

For example, you might have seen this Razor Ramon promo about the chicas.
Now check out the remake:

 

"I am not going to scare your heart out. I'm going to scare your soul!"